Someone recently asked me....How do you find love when you have emotional insecurities? Can you get past these fragments that are holding you back from what could be a wonderful life? I've found that the very qualities we're most ashamed of, the ones we keep trying to reshape or hide, are in fact the key to finding real love, true happiness, and success in a relationship. Love my friend is a gift.
We all fear love to a certain degree because we know that it's so easy to get lost in the quest for self-improvement. News Flash....We're NOT PERFECT! It often seems quite impossible for the average Jane when every billboard we pass seduces us with the vision of a happier, more successful life.
I realized that the characteristics were the ones which frequently caused them the most suffering. That's what it's like when we try to understand our deepest struggles without honoring the gifts that fuel them. When we understand our lives through the lens of our gifts it's as if we step out from behind the tapestry and really see it for the first time. All of a sudden, things make sense. We see the real picture, the moving, human story of what matters most to us. We begin to understand that our biggest mistakes, our most self-sabotaging behaviors were simply convulsive, unskilled attempts to express the deepest parts of ourselves. We want to be loved yet we fear love. Love is not a game or something to be entered into lightly.
Whoever came up with the idea that love is a game was nuts. Too many people mess with our hearts because they are insecure, and find love to be like a game....listen sweet cheeks, love is not a game. There is no designated winner or loser.
The idea that romance is a game - one where the player who best keeps his or her cool "wins" - is perpetuated by a self-help industry that makes billions from telling women that to be loved, they need to change the way they look, act, and feel. This industry preys on women's insecurities about being desirable by implying that they're not good enough as they are. And it tells women that when romance doesn't work out, it's because they did something wrong. Did they come on too strong? Did they reveal too much of themselves? Did they seem too needy or desperate? Did they step on the fragile male ego? Did they return his call too quickly? So what do we do ladies? we put on our "brave face." Guess what? Love couldn't care less about your brave face. It goes after what is incomparable and irreplaceable about you. It wants to penetrate the deepest recesses of your being. It wants to know what makes you tick and why.
My grandmother once made a statement that really stuck in my head; She said "If you never let yourself fall freely, you won't get anywhere near authentic love." The more you bury your singular spirit under some self-help game, the more difficult you make it for love to find you. And, if a woman needs to play games to hold a man's interest, chances are he's not the right man for her. The trouble with the games of romance is that eventually the mask will have to come off. The moral of this story is; Don't hide behind self doubt and insecurities. Learn how to overcome them.
We all fear love to a certain degree because we know that it's so easy to get lost in the quest for self-improvement. News Flash....We're NOT PERFECT! It often seems quite impossible for the average Jane when every billboard we pass seduces us with the vision of a happier, more successful life.
I realized that the characteristics were the ones which frequently caused them the most suffering. That's what it's like when we try to understand our deepest struggles without honoring the gifts that fuel them. When we understand our lives through the lens of our gifts it's as if we step out from behind the tapestry and really see it for the first time. All of a sudden, things make sense. We see the real picture, the moving, human story of what matters most to us. We begin to understand that our biggest mistakes, our most self-sabotaging behaviors were simply convulsive, unskilled attempts to express the deepest parts of ourselves. We want to be loved yet we fear love. Love is not a game or something to be entered into lightly.
Whoever came up with the idea that love is a game was nuts. Too many people mess with our hearts because they are insecure, and find love to be like a game....listen sweet cheeks, love is not a game. There is no designated winner or loser.
The idea that romance is a game - one where the player who best keeps his or her cool "wins" - is perpetuated by a self-help industry that makes billions from telling women that to be loved, they need to change the way they look, act, and feel. This industry preys on women's insecurities about being desirable by implying that they're not good enough as they are. And it tells women that when romance doesn't work out, it's because they did something wrong. Did they come on too strong? Did they reveal too much of themselves? Did they seem too needy or desperate? Did they step on the fragile male ego? Did they return his call too quickly? So what do we do ladies? we put on our "brave face." Guess what? Love couldn't care less about your brave face. It goes after what is incomparable and irreplaceable about you. It wants to penetrate the deepest recesses of your being. It wants to know what makes you tick and why.
My grandmother once made a statement that really stuck in my head; She said "If you never let yourself fall freely, you won't get anywhere near authentic love." The more you bury your singular spirit under some self-help game, the more difficult you make it for love to find you. And, if a woman needs to play games to hold a man's interest, chances are he's not the right man for her. The trouble with the games of romance is that eventually the mask will have to come off. The moral of this story is; Don't hide behind self doubt and insecurities. Learn how to overcome them.
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