Friday, January 11, 2013

Dating and Sex...When is the Right Time Guys?

Love happens. Or so that's what Will Smith said in the movie "Hitch." Yes, one minute your enjoying your life and the next minute your wondering how on earth you got along without them. 3 dates, that's all it takes. Believe it? I say that is a strong possibility. I can tell you until the cows come home how to 'woo' her...but I won't be there with you to make it right all the time. I'm not a love doctor, I'm just a single woman looking for what everyone else is in search of..happiness and someone special to share it with. I can give my own non-professional advice all day, but it is how you act that will determine if you are her last first kiss or not. I have a lot of guy friends that have told me time and time again that they've dated countless women and it has always intrigue me as to really how little they honestly really do know about women. 

I hope that with the proper tools and after reading this article, you'll have a better understanding of how women see things and what you might or might not be able to do to change your ways if you seem to be failing over and over with women. Most women enjoy a mans company. Often men question that. Why? I'm not sure exactly. You see, she already said yes or she wouldn't be out with you know...so don't screw it up. She said YES when she could have blown you off! and just said NO! There are a lot of fish in the sea, but out of them all, she responded to you and accepted to spend time with you. That i itself makes a bold statement. Some men, and not all men, are all about themselves. Let me tell you my friends, this will back fire, and you'll be left alone searching for that needle in the haystack time and time again. Relationships are about two people not one.

 What you need to do fellas is listen to her, and her needs....I mean really truly listen! If you don't and you are too busy starring at her chest trying to figure out her cup size, you will NEVER make it to date number two and you can kiss the sweet thoughts of possible sex with her goodbye forever! A woman wants the romance, not the one night stand kind of guy. She wants the host man, not the one that disappears on weekends, that calls or texts only at certain times of the day, and one that just does nice things for her because he cares. If she even has the sneaking suspicion that he is lying about who he is or his marital status, he is history and to those men that think that can have their cake and eat it too...I say you better find a new bakery because your batter is about to sink! 

A woman wants her happy ever after...so let me ask you this? What kind of guy are you? What do you desire in dating and or in relationships? Do you want to be in 'like' forever, or do you want to fall in love at some point? What are you waiting for? Is it fear of rejection, or love not happening at all? If you waste most of your life away thinking about it, you won't allow the right person to walk in when it's time. You'll be too busy condemning those that were 110% all wrong for you. Get over it or you surely will grow old alone.

Some people might say that they are tired of wasting their time...my thought is this, with each date, or relationship try to learn from it. If you are with someone though and it just isn't right, or f it doesn't feel like they are that 'wonder drug' for you that gives you energy and ambition to want to be in a relationship with them then my friend you've got some things to sort through. Most women want that 'can't eat, can't sleep' feeling...if you don't feel it, it may be time to talk to them on an adult level and either try something else hoping to make it work, and by this I mean; trying harder to fix what is wrong or move on!


This is how it works: a lot of guys are looking for someone to have a serious relationship with, but what many of my guy friends tell me that most of them have dated girls that have ultimately turned out to be less than what we were looking for. In some cases, much, much less...and that can be disappointing to say the least. What happens is simple; after weeks or months of effort, the relationship ends and although both parties may walk away having learned a few lessons...they wasted a lot of time. Truth be told boys, and some of you might just disagree with me, but truthfully, it can take dozens of these attempts to meet someone that sparks a deep kind of interest where there is that 'spark!' I don't think love can happen a first glance, although, I've not ruled it out. I just don't think that it happens every day.


 Given those odds, and the amount of investment required to decide if any given female could be a girlfriend, fiancé or spouse, now I understand the cynicism most men have going into a first date. I know men, and I'll tell you this...there is essentially a zero chance that a man will refuse sex on a first date if he has the chance: oh sure, she could be “the one,” but really? Truth be told that in all respect, and stasticically speaking.... she probably won’t be, and it definitely isn’t worth turning down easy sex to find out. Men and women do think differently. I think for women when we have sex there becomes more of an emotional attachment. 



Speaking of sex...as George Michael sang..."Let's talk about sex baby...Let's talk about you and me" ...actually, talk, talk, talk...why? Well, that opens up a whole new can of worms. When it comes to sex, there are a lot of assumptions that are made by both men and women about how the opposite sex (seemingly as a whole) views certain things. Many women, for instance, believe that the minute they drop their wall, that men will want to get into their knickers and have sex with them. Not necessarily true, but it is those bad apples' of the past that put that poison in their head. 

The truth is that not all men are horn dogs, and not all men are hard-wired like a hard ass kind of guy. I believe that some men actually like romance. It's not easy to find them...but they're out there. So when is the right time to have sex? I think the right time to have sex is when you’re ready to have sex with that person. Not only that, it’s when they are ready to have sex with you. Think about it, and for heaven sakes, communicate with him/her. Relationships are built on a solid foundation, honesty is vital. Do you want a house of love that stands the test of time, or one that sinks like quick sand because you didn't open your hart up entirely and be truthful? We all make mistakes, and we all have flaws. If you look for someone who does not, you may be search an eternity.What happens between the two of you and when is entirely up to YOU!




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