Where Do You Look For Confidence....

...When life has slammed the door in your face? What can you do to benefit from this? How do you avoid distress, hurt, pain and suffering? How do you find that inner strength when you've hit rock bottom?

 How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.

Recognize your insecurities.What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

Bounce back from your mistakes. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant.

Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. As Madonna once sang....Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours.  When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Remember, please...Rome was not build over night as my grandmother used to always say, so don't expect miraculas changes, take one day at a time and grow your strengths from those weaknesses you have within.

1. Take a moment and think about the 3 toughest things you've ever done in your life? Did they make you stronger? How were successful in coming through those crises? By mentally exploring these events, you'll learn about how you found your confidence in those instances and you can use these experiences to build on and go forward with. Now that's knowledge you can use. Learn from your mistakes, take your strengths to build upon your weaknesses and grow from them.

• Whenever you lack confidence, reflect on those tough times and the strategies you utilized to get through them.
     
• Feeling self-assured comes with knowing that you can make it through difficult times and emerge triumphant.

2. Where do your most significant achievements lie? Take some moments to survey your life. Whether it's teaching yourself how to take proper care of your lawn or reading the entire collection of Shakespeare, recognize that you've achieved all kinds of milestones.

• Then, reflect on your achievements and let yourself feel proud. Re-connect with the feelings of self-assurance you experienced at those times. Feel your confidence grow.
     
• Finally, allow yourself to look forward to a future filled with still more achievement.

3. Understand your mistakes. Hey, we all make them, so don't sweat the small stuff! An important aspect of finding your confidence is examining what you've done in the past that you now see as a mistake. Thoroughly understanding your prior errors is integral to developing your sense of self-assurance.

• Reviewing your mistakes allows you to say to yourself that you understand what happened and that you know now to approach those situations differently. Knowing what you did wrong and recognizing that you wouldn't do it the same way again builds confidence.
     
• When you realize that you've gained some applicable knowledge, you also strengthen your confidence that you can meet any challenge in the future.

4. Find a role model. Is there someone that you look up to, or perhaps that you see as a leader that you can learn a thing or two from? My guess is that you probably know someone who you believe exhibits great confidence. Using them as a role model can be instrumental in finding your own confidence.

• What does your role model's self-assurance look like? Does the person make eye contact when speaking to others? Can you see a comfortable ease with which he relates to others? Think about how the person you have in mind looks, acts, and talks.Remember, actions speak louder than words. Is this person loved by many? Is this person giving and compassionate?
     
• Perhaps your role model has a great sense of humor. The self-assured person isn't afraid to admit he's made a mistake. He may even gently laugh at himself for his errors. You have to be able to laugh at yourself!
      
• Now, try behaving like your role model. You truly can live your way into a new way of thinking. If you emulate the person whom you view as confident, you'll be more likely to exude self-assurance yourself.
     
• Even when you're experiencing a challenge and aren't feeling too sure about yourself, try "faking it till you make it." Use your knowledge about how confidence appears and behave that way. Soon after, you'll begin to recognize and connect with your own true confidence.

Although you might not always feel self-assured, take this time to be true to yourself. You do have confidence, it may just be hiding, afraid to come out...take the chance, you'll be quite happy that you did. remember, it's not about making those life changes in a day, or two days, or even a few months...it's taking it with baby steps one day at a time!

I found this book and found it to be very much worth reading. If you have time, pick it up and give it a lookie. I hope that you get something out of it just as I did.



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