Humorous Bikini Waxing

Regardless of whether you are honeymooning, or heading to a tropical paradise to focus on the important things in life, no one should leave home without a good waxing! We all want to look and feel sexy from head to toe...and everywhere in between. While uninterrupted by thoughts of potential bikini-line overgrowth dance through your head... Why not treat yourself to a Brazilian bikini-wax and set yourself free? Not a hair will dare stray outside your bikini bottom again. At least until your next waxing.

Ummmm hello? Ladies,....have you ever had a bikini waxing? If you have you are fully aware of the benefits....if you have not,...or you poor dears....prepare yourself for some fierce pain! My advice, before you go for you waxing, stop at a local bar and have a few cocktails first to loosen you up and to take the edge off...trust me, you'll thank me later!

This method of waxing originated in the place where beach thongs abound and although torturous, is claimed as "completely worth it" by its devotees. The Brazilian wax basically takes it ALL away, leaving just a tiny strip of closely-shorn hair in front (referred to by some regulars as an "airstrip", a "thong wax" or a "Playboy wax").

 

Things that Brazilian waxing virgins need to know first:

 

Not a yellow page referral task, the best way to find out about a good waxer is word of mouth, so ask around locally. Many waxers will refuse to do this type of waxing, as it is so highly personal. A bad Brazilian waxer will leave you with nasty ingrowns --- that can turn the already daunting experience into to a very, very bad one.

 

Your Brazilian waxer will know you at least as intimately as your gynecologist. You will be asked to strip down to nothing and spread your legs into all kinds of embarrassing positions. Your best defense is to appear as though you think it's as normal as your waxer does.

 

Expect no picnic. There is no way to avoid some pain, but there are ways to choose lesser evils. The best practitioners are also the zippiest. The ones who keep going over and over a spot simply prolong the agony. The Elizabeth Arden Salon, extremely reputable for their hair removal procedures, uses a wax that is very gentle on the skin. The downside is that it requires some repeat action, which can take the fun out of it. The J Sisters seem slightly less hygienic (no gloves) but it really is over in a flash.

 

The torture is not everlasting. A Brazilian bikini (no legs, no underarms, just the bikini) should not take longer than a half hour.Expect to pay at least 45.00 for a good Brazilian wax by a pro. Small price to pain to save a lot of embarrassment. No pain, no gain right?

I show this clip to my friends and we laugh until we cry all the time....So, whether you need a good dose of laughter, or if you are feeling down and and you are reading me to simply pass time, here is something that will keep bringing you back to the Simply Delicious Lingerie Blog Spot....behold, Mrs Browns Bikini Waxing...Be prepared to shed some tears,...You'll have a good laugh with this one!

Advertising Sex?

What A Lot of People Know

One of the best methods for selling a product or service, is to show a beautiful person in skimpy clothing. Why? Because usually people don't care about the product or service at first, they only care about seeing more pictures of the beautiful model in the advertisement. An example, would be the Evolution of advertising that I discussed a while back, showcasing the trend and downward spiral of their advertising techniques. That is one of the most prime examples that anyone could ever show, because I have no doubt if you've surfed the Internet you've probably stumbled on one of the ads at some point.

Recently I had a discussion with friends about what a person would notice first upon entering a website, a picture of a beautiful woman, or the title of the article. What was he or she wearing, was it sexy, sassy, seductive, and sensual, or was it quite provocative? Does it really matter which of these it was? It just was!  According a recent poll 100% of the people surveyed voted for noticing the beautiful woman before the article title...does that really surprise you? Lingerie is, and probably will always be one of the leaders in the industry for sex and sex appeal. There is quite a difference however in the companies that advertise it and how they go about it.

I was never one for raunchy and trashy....does that sell? You bet it does, but I was raised more so with the flair to be classy and simple. I like the no make up, or very little, simple baby doll, teddy, or two piece bra and panty sets with garters and thigh highs look....I am still that old fashion gal that has respect for herself, and I take pride in my appearance, therefore my models should keep the look the same. We are selling alluring, intriguing and sexy, not trashy. We use great product placement  and our advertising is only with reputable companies. The lingerie that I sell, for the most part, middle class and even some high end material but we try to keep it at a mediocre budget. I'm not out to take the world by storm...and drain your wallets, I'd much rather prefer customers remembering me for my morals, value, and although mature look. Oh sure some of what I sell one might not consider " entirely respectable"....that is the persons choice that is purchasing it. It is by no means dirty or trashy. Every woman has to find that one piece that fits her physique best. I believe that my business will succeed and do quite well, putting a women's integrity first is and always has been motto, but if she has the confidence to wear that sexy lingerie that turn heads,...all the power to her!

My personal conclusions? Yes, sex sells. There is a lot of money to be made by using sexually driven advertisements, but for me, I only have one problem. I have morals, and for some reason that's always been a wall that I only peek around from time to time, but never climb over. Well, I'm not sure how long that wall will last, because from what I've noticed so far, is that this can be a potential money maker if used properly. So in truth, there is a substantial reason as to why advertising companies have used attractive and beautiful people for the advertising, it's an attention getter!

Ask Yourself This Question

When you see lingerie articles, what catches your attention first? Was it the article title, or the picture of the beautiful woman with cleavage and her booty? If this is anything like the other study I did earlier concerning the article title verse the beautiful women.... then I'm pretty sure it's going to be the woman again. Do you see the advertising power here? I do! Sure there are those who say that advertisers only use pretty girls to sell....and they also say that there are other ways in the industry o f doing so......Really? Because last time I saw an ad for farm equipment it was boring to me,...now put a gal in a bikini set on that tractor with a cowboy hat on and watch your revenue soar! Can you say cha ching?

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Expectations in Marriage

In marriage, knowing what to expect is half the battle!  So, here are some things you should expect in marriage.  Now some of them may sound negative, but they aren’t meant to be.  We just need to be prepared that challenges will likely arise.  When they do, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world, or your marriage.

1. Conflict....We'll all go through this.

Conflict will happen, and that’s okay, don't you expect it? I did.  Figure out how to handle the situation, what steps to take, what to say, and certainly what "not to say!" If you handle these conflicts in a loving, mature way, it won't seem so bad. Communication!! KEY!! Talk it out!!

2. Expect Delays

Planning for your future is a great thing to do as a couple, just understand that things don’t always arrive on schedule – not babies, not raises, not your health problems, not the sitter! Things are going to come up. Never fails in my family....it's always something. When you expect delays, you won't freak out when they happen.

Ex; when planning a get together, party, etc....tell your guest to arrive at 3pm when the party really starts at 3:30. If they are anything like my Ex's family, they still showed up late..but oh how they were the life of the party when they did arrive!

3. Expect Disappointments

File this in the, “you’re both only human” category. Your spouse will not be the answer to all of your problems.  Your spouse won’t be a mind reader or anticipate all of your needs. You need to tell your spouse what you want, and need...otherwise, how will they know?

4. Expect to be annoyed, pissed off, and out numbered from time to time

What was once appealing is now annoying. Why is this? Perhaps it was a habit that he/she had that you once thought was quite cute now irritates you? Be ready for that habit of his or hers you found so adorable while you were dating, to become annoying,..what's worse is if you tell them it annoys you now and they keep doing it...  But remember this, there are things you’re doing that are likely to be driving them nuts too. Cut them some slack and continually focus on their good qualities.  If you just can’t overlook what’s bothering you, talk about it in a loving, kind way....don't throw things at them, it won't work, you'll just end u repairing the hole you put in the  drywall. How do I know this? I threw a bathroom scale once....Oh, it got his attention, and he sent me the repair bill for $95.00

5. You'll find that  you’re doing more...

You might feel like you’re Super Mom.... doing more dishes, more laundry, more bedtime reading with the kids, more yard work, more taking the garbage out. You get the idea.   When you start feeling put out and put upon, take some time to assess the situation. Be verbal, and by this I mean chat about it, .....no screaming and yelling.... Instead of attacking your spouse and demanding more help, sit down and calmly express your desire to do your jobs well, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Maybe he doesn't realize that you are getting burnt out?

6. Agree to disagree

Just because you are “one” in marriage, doesn’t mean you will agree on everything. You never will agree on everything, you may be the missing piece to his puzzle but your aren't a miracle worker. You aren't always going to be right......Even though the pieces match doesn't mean the patterns do......but, guess what?  That’s okay.  Respect your spouse’s right to have a different opinion than you.  Don’t shoot down ideas right then and there, think about the time that he put into this thought.  There is more than one way to get the job done and believe me when I say,...arguing will only prolong it. You are both partners of respect, so give a little.

7. Not attracted to your spouse anymore?

This may never happen to you, BUT it does happen to a lot of couples. You might go through your entire marriage with the hots for your mate.  But if, at some point, you’re just not that into your spouse, pray that you will have a loving heart, and talk about it, or seek counseling for guidance. Many things cause this, mid life crisis comes to mind....(been there done that, with my spouse)  Also, look beyond the physical or lack of chemistry and fall in love with what’s good about your spouse. You might be missing something really great!

Marriages are a lot of work, and they are a two way street....you need to talk it out. Remember what brought you both together in the first place,...remember the wonderful times that you have shared over the years and be grateful for the time you have with your spouse. Nothing lasts forever, life is precious. Marriage is a loving bond that takes much nurturing....My parents are celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary this October. I've never seen two people happier! Sure they argue, its fun to watch them do it, they both always think they are right.....but someone always caves in and lets the other win the argument. Communication, understanding, patience, and love for one another is why their marriage is so strong. My marriage didn't last because I didn't have what my folks have. Trust and communication....without it, your ship will sink.



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4 Type of Men to Avoid Like the Plague

Having been down this road in the past, whether it involved my past marriage, or men that I dated since my divorce, I pick up a few tips along the way and learned quickly how to spot the "wrong men" that all women should certainly stay away from. I have categorized them the best that I can to assist you in trying to get a glimpse of what to beware of. Most of these traits you should see early on....sometimes it takes away for these to transpire, so keep your eyes open and listen for heaven sakes....

These men may seem to be the "shit" but ladies....if you end up with any of these 4 you'll have some major relationship issues. This is a promise!

Mr. No-Money Bags

He has champagne tastes on a beer budget and a walk-in closet full of financial skeletons. But that doesn’t bother him because he also has a preternatural ability to get into women’s wallets as well as their beds. He’s counting on you to keep him in the style to which he hopes to become accustomed. It’s like stumbling onto a beautiful vintage Bentley: You see past the exhilarating automobile that appears to be a one of a kind, so rare, and you envision how magnificent it could be if you fixed up the wear and tear on it. You figure a little “investment” will pay off big. Besides, what’s a little money when he’s the man of your dreams? He's the guy whose wallet is always in his other pants, he left it at home, he’s short on cash until he gets paid.....bla bla bla kind of guy. Initially, it might seem reasonable to float him a little extra, but ladies OPEN YOUR EYES!!!!!!! Unless you are intending to be his "sugar mama" shake this one off like a flea!

Mr. Mama’s Boy..... He’s sweet, affectionate and understanding. Unfortunately, he’s still hung up on another woman – his mama Not exactly the threesome you might have had in mind. Mom still influences his professional decisions, his investment portfolio, where he lives, who he votes for. Project into the future and you can count on her influencing everything – from where you buy a home to how you raise your children. If you want another woman running your relationship and life...maybe he is the man, but if you are anything like me and want to grow a relationship based on your own wants and needs, you need to cut this one loose, otherwise before you know it she'll be naming your children and selecting your family vacations together! One big happy family. NOT!!!!!!

Mr. Peter Pan

Yep, you know the one....Though he’s in his 20s, 30s or 40s, at heart Mr. Peter Pan Syndrome is still like that of a frat boy in many ways. Life’s a nonstop, movable kegger and he’s the affable host. Yes the life of the party....everyone lovessss him! He’s on a first-name basis with all the bartenders in town, and is always ready for a trip to Las Vegas to stay up all night rill the dice and drink like there is no tomorrow. This guy loves the attention! He wants to be in the spot light all the time....beware of tough times though should they arise....Difficult situations aren’t in his repertoire, and when the going gets tough, you’ll be going it alone. Be careful, here's how he'll get you hooked; His spontaneity and sense of adventure bring out the kid in you. OPEN YOUR EYES!.... He would appear to have very few responsibilities. When it comes to dating, he'll do it with the catch phrase “let’s keep things light." Don't try to change him. I married one, and look where I am now! Do take my advice, it simply doesn't work. You can tame him, but don't dry to change him. It will backfire on you and he'll end up despising you. Unless you want to find your life like that of the fairy tale living with a man who thinks (as my grand mother used to say) in Never Never Land....drop him like a hot potato!!

Mr. Egomaniac

He’s brilliant, clever, witty, handsome, quite accomplished and has an unflagging belief in his own infallibility.You never see him waffling or agonizing about a decision. Oh no...he is sharp on his toes, and fast on his feet...watch out! He’s extremely decisive because the world revolves around him. On the rare occasion when he’s not 100% right, he won’t take it well if you point it out. He may want an accomplished woman, but not one so successful that you eclipse his glory. He may even undercut your success. He might embarrass you at an office party or run you down in front of colleagues in the guise of “being funny." When you complain, he’ll accuse you of being too sensitive. His confidence is irresistible.

Handsome, yet they know it. Seductive and they like it. Flamboyant to the core, and sexy in a way that will lure you in. Be careful of this type,...don't say that I didn't warn you.



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Don't Touch My Junk

Some really important tips that you'll want to follow to keep TSA off your back!

Ladies, we all love to take our buddies along, but while going through TSA beware that you may need to allow them to search your bags if something looks ...,shall we say, a little suspicious! Traveling with sex toys, vibrators in particular, has the potential to turn from greatly anticipated vacation to sexually humiliating nightmare rather quickly. Airport security is working more diligently to find strange, possibly dangerous, items in passenger's luggage these days. Myself, personally I wouldn't bat an eye, but then again I own a lingerie shop or two that sells adult novelties as well as other really great products. I have seen, done and heard it all. I can imagine how something as simple as going on a short weekend getaway or a cruise may have you thinking that you'll bring your toy along for sheer entertainment. Generally NOT a PROBLEM.....if you take the batteries out! Good Lord....remember to disassemble your gadget first! Pack in, but NOT in your carry on! Good God, do you want to hold up the entire line? Be discreet...Here's the right way to travel with your favorite sex toy. I know, I shouldn't laugh....I only do because I have seen it and done it all. Nothing shocks me...really.

When Packing Certain Sexual Toys and Vibrators

You should never just toss your toys into your suitcase. Each toy should be packed with precision. There are two kinds of packing materials to take into consideration. A cloth bag. Any soft, clean cloth bag will do. You can even use those purple drawstring bags that Crown Royal Whiskey comes in. A cloth bag will protect your vibrator from getting travel grime on it as well as keep any existing cords from getting tangled in your personal items. Note about ordinary cloth bags. These will not keep your vibrators from showing up on the x-ray machine. Give your pal a clever disguise. You can purchase vibrators that look like ordinary hair brushes, or a tube of lipstick. Typically security sees these things and pays them no attention.

 OK, so where do you pack a vibrator?

First of all never pack your vibrator in your carry on luggage unless you have no other choice and I can't image a scenario where you will be tortured and shot if you don't bring it. If your trip is so short that you don't have any luggage to check in then check in your carry on and only carry on what you can put in your pockets. Any questionable items that pass through the machine are alerted to security officials who will pull you aside and examine every item you brought with you. This may mean your vibrator will be on public display and if it is a really strange sex toy you may have to explain what it is and what you are doing with it.

You also stand the chance of being singled out for a random search. If this happens the last thing you want to have found is your vibrator. When you pack your vibrator, put it in the soft cloth bag and lay it gently between folded layers of clothes for protection or in a discreet pocket intended to protect items.

General vibrator travel tips

If you do forget to take the batteries out of  your vibrator...you just may be surprised by some strange buzzing noises coming from your luggage will most definitely cause you to be pulled off a plane to explain. Always pack newly bought fresh batteries in a separate place other than in your sex toy. Choose your toys carefully. Hopefully while travel, TSA will show some respect and not touch the junk.

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