Top 10 Tips That Your Boyfriend/Spouse is Cheating...

There is one word in the English language that no woman wants to hear. CHEATER. No one likes to be played the fool. My grandmother used to always say; "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Lets face it ladies, no woman wants to ever believe that her man is cheating on her. What starts out something as simple as flirting or teasing can turn into a giant ball of lies that just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I generally write about two things...lingerie and love. I love lingerie. I know love. 

Is your man being unfaithful? If you ask him and he is extremely defensive and tries to make you feel like you're crazy for suspecting anything, then that's a key indicator. The cheating man does more than lie, he will then try to turn it around and make the woman feel like she's out of line.  If you notice a decrease in sex over a period of time in your relationship and he cannot make direct eye contact at you then Good Lord, let this be your 'red flag!'

Relationships are Built on 3 things:

Love, Trust and Communication. 
If you are missing one or more of these you need to look at the big picture because you've got problems.

Top 10 tips that your mate is cheating:

1) Your mate easily becomes offended when you make normal and natural inquiries and may demand to know why you are checking up on him. He asks you why you constantly nag at him? He may tell you to stop trying to control him or his life. You're not his mother, remember? He begins to question why, why, why you keep asking him ridiculous questions?

2)Your mate's sleeping pattern changes considerably from the norm and may include unexplainable exhaustion, restlessness, frequent nightmares and sleep-talking. He may fall asleep on the couch and when he ventures to bed act as if he is sleeping immediately. Why? He's all sexed out from being with someone else and can't get it up perhaps. 

3) Your mate is more interested in playing with his cell phone including texting and checking emails than spending time talking with you or making love to you. 

4) Your mate stops complimenting you on your looks...why? Because he found someone else to compliment. 

5)Your mate rarely talks to you. You live together but you don't interact hardly at all anymore. Your communication really sucks. He has become cold and inconsiderate of your feelings and hasn't a clue as to what is going on in your personal life whatsoever, what's worse is that he doesn't even ask. Why? Because he is always too busy talking about himself. If you can't stroke his ego, he finds someone who will to fill the emotional void. 

6) Ok, so here is the flip-side to #5; Your mate is more attentive to your needs than usual. This is due to the guilty feelings experienced by the cheater in the early stages of his or her affair. The attention will diminish as the affair continues.

7)You know your mate's habits, routines and attitudes better than anybody, so be suspicious when these things start to change. You may even begin to catch him in little lies, ...the reality of it all is that these turn to big lies and before long it gets easier and easier to lie more and more.

8)Your mate becomes super moody and down right angry at times. He seems very upbeat and excited when leaving you but acts somber and depressed when he's around you. Most often looking for excuses to get out and run errands but never has an explanation of where he has been for a few hours of 'lost' time that he cannot account for. 

9)Your mate easily becomes offended at the comments or digs you make, however harmless they may be. Why? Because he has something to hide!

10) Your mate would rather spend time with someone than be with you. Is he taking more cash out of the ATM than he used to? Could it be that he wants no paper trail of where the money is going and who he is spending it on, because it certainly isn't you. Does he golf too much, go to the gym more than usual or have business meetings more often than before? Or does he go out to dinner with you and you find him checking his cell phone, or taking calls that he says he 'has to take' and then steps outside for a few minutes leaving you alone? These are signs that your relationship is in trouble and that someone is monopolizing his time, and sister it's not you!

Relationship Blues…Where Did ALL of the AFFECTION, FOREPLAY and SEX GO?

My relationship was great until I moved in with him…then the affection and sex pretty much stopped. Does this sound familiar? For many it is a very touchy subject even so, one that needs addressed. In many relationships public affection, kissing, holding hands are common and many women would say that this is not the problem in their relationship, nonetheless some men just don't know how to show affection, or at least not the way a woman would like him to. As for the foreplay and sex, sometimes it only occurs when alcohol is involved and that is usually because your man is relaxed and it comes more easily. Is this normal, that's my question? Sure it's great to have them feeling like the sensual king or queen but you can't get them drunk every night for them to show you some love and express themselves. I believe that sex is like that of a great energy and it needs to be suppressed.  So what is the relevance?

They say that everyone wants that certain level of comfort in their relationship and that includes openness, closeness and physical intimacy. Its in our biological nature to feel that urge for some sort of intimacy. The percentage of couples that can pull off a healthy relationship without any kind of intimacy or affection is quite rare nevertheless it can happen and in these cases it is usually when their upbringing was the same as their now actions. Perhaps their parents did not have a physical relationship and that's the way your partner believes it should be? Sometimes becoming parents causes changes in the depths/levels of intimacy issues. Where you want to be a good parent, you still have to be a lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, mate or partner to one another. hey, I am not a professional but physical intimacy is like the glue of a relationship.

We all dream of eternal love. We want to believe that we've found the right person and that this man/woman is our everything. At this point, they have already won your affection. Some might say that it is natural for sex to die in a relationship because it is a simple way of affection. What about if he/she spend less and less time with their partner? Maybe they go to the gym more, stay at work later, begins attending more happy hours with the staff, more trips to the spa/salon, golfs 5 days/nights out of the week or believes spending time with the boys at the cigar shop is his time and a necessity because it relieves stress? What about your time and your level of stress that your portion of this relationship has endured? What happened to cooking for you, taking you out to dinner or going on a date? Is he falling asleep in a chair 30 minutes after you begin to spend 'us' time together? Has this too diminished and now you find yourself sitting at home by yourself more and more?

In all sincerity, really, how much can one person go with abstinence before they want to jump out of their skin and throw their hands up in disbelief? It leads many people that are used to having strong sexual relationships from previous partners to take a few steps backward and ponder the thoughts now asking themselves "is it me, does he/she not care anymore, or worse, is he/she seeing/sleeping with someone else? It is unbelievable to think that any couple can live on the 'love of one another' alone with no sexual relationship or level of intimacy.

Sex is needed for the existence of any good relationship. I don't think that is really up for discussion. Keep in mind that as women go through forms of menopause, guys middle age also go through something similar called manopause. It causes changes in a mans testosterone levels and they can have less of a sex drive. So, when your mate just cuts you off and rolls over every night making you feel like you have the plague, or pretends like he is sleeping or has a migraine, what do you do? Try to understand, and give him space. He may not get what is happening to him so how are you supposed to even begin to understand what is happening if you are beside yourself from his/her actions? The flip side is that your mate can be falling out of love. Perhaps  they just so accustom to you being around that the desire and mad need for that somewhat kinky 'knock down drag out dirty fun sex' is just no longer necessary because they've already won you and feel that love is enough?

Disappointment, hurt or simply taking one another for granted are the three major reasons why we feel less in a relationship over time. Finances and money issues are a HUGE downer for any relationship as well. Some men/women feel that they need to be making 'x' amount of dollars to maintain a healthy relationship and the need for the fancy cars, big houses, etc become more relevant in their mind. Those things are like their trophies so to speak, whereas myself personally, love is all I'd need and I'd move into a shack if it meant a happier healthier bond. Money makes a man feel superior. He holds himself high upon a pedestal and to others so if things are not going well for him financially, his entire way of living can change and that includes his affection for you.

If you feel that your relationship is lacking the glamour and luster that it once had, if you are a lover and a fighter and stand by your man/woman you may have to begin taking steps backward. Go back to the earlier days when your relationship began and reconstruct it. Trust and communication are key here folks. You either have it or you don't.

Its time to get out of the relationship blues! Add some spark again! If you relationship is worth saving and you are in love but you forgot how to show it…Start dating your honey again, and do romantic things for your partner. Love my friends does not cost a thing! Cook them dinner, give them a massage, draw their bath for them. Go back to the happy days when your relationship was new and less stressful. Grow together again in a physical and intimate way. Do something fun, playful and maybe even a bit risqué. Buy something sexy. Lingerie catches any mans eye if the right piece is worn. It will turn his head and give his libido a boost. Perhaps it is time to show him eye candy? Sexy lingerie such as role play costumes or bedroom or fantasy costumes are playful.

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