Showing posts with label sexting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sexting. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Relationship Blues…Where Did ALL of the AFFECTION, FOREPLAY and SEX GO?

My relationship was great until I moved in with him…then the affection and sex pretty much stopped. Does this sound familiar? For many it is a very touchy subject even so, one that needs addressed. In many relationships public affection, kissing, holding hands are common and many women would say that this is not the problem in their relationship, nonetheless some men just don't know how to show affection, or at least not the way a woman would like him to. As for the foreplay and sex, sometimes it only occurs when alcohol is involved and that is usually because your man is relaxed and it comes more easily. Is this normal, that's my question? Sure it's great to have them feeling like the sensual king or queen but you can't get them drunk every night for them to show you some love and express themselves. I believe that sex is like that of a great energy and it needs to be suppressed.  So what is the relevance?

They say that everyone wants that certain level of comfort in their relationship and that includes openness, closeness and physical intimacy. Its in our biological nature to feel that urge for some sort of intimacy. The percentage of couples that can pull off a healthy relationship without any kind of intimacy or affection is quite rare nevertheless it can happen and in these cases it is usually when their upbringing was the same as their now actions. Perhaps their parents did not have a physical relationship and that's the way your partner believes it should be? Sometimes becoming parents causes changes in the depths/levels of intimacy issues. Where you want to be a good parent, you still have to be a lover, boyfriend, girlfriend, mate or partner to one another. hey, I am not a professional but physical intimacy is like the glue of a relationship.

We all dream of eternal love. We want to believe that we've found the right person and that this man/woman is our everything. At this point, they have already won your affection. Some might say that it is natural for sex to die in a relationship because it is a simple way of affection. What about if he/she spend less and less time with their partner? Maybe they go to the gym more, stay at work later, begins attending more happy hours with the staff, more trips to the spa/salon, golfs 5 days/nights out of the week or believes spending time with the boys at the cigar shop is his time and a necessity because it relieves stress? What about your time and your level of stress that your portion of this relationship has endured? What happened to cooking for you, taking you out to dinner or going on a date? Is he falling asleep in a chair 30 minutes after you begin to spend 'us' time together? Has this too diminished and now you find yourself sitting at home by yourself more and more?

In all sincerity, really, how much can one person go with abstinence before they want to jump out of their skin and throw their hands up in disbelief? It leads many people that are used to having strong sexual relationships from previous partners to take a few steps backward and ponder the thoughts now asking themselves "is it me, does he/she not care anymore, or worse, is he/she seeing/sleeping with someone else? It is unbelievable to think that any couple can live on the 'love of one another' alone with no sexual relationship or level of intimacy.

Sex is needed for the existence of any good relationship. I don't think that is really up for discussion. Keep in mind that as women go through forms of menopause, guys middle age also go through something similar called manopause. It causes changes in a mans testosterone levels and they can have less of a sex drive. So, when your mate just cuts you off and rolls over every night making you feel like you have the plague, or pretends like he is sleeping or has a migraine, what do you do? Try to understand, and give him space. He may not get what is happening to him so how are you supposed to even begin to understand what is happening if you are beside yourself from his/her actions? The flip side is that your mate can be falling out of love. Perhaps  they just so accustom to you being around that the desire and mad need for that somewhat kinky 'knock down drag out dirty fun sex' is just no longer necessary because they've already won you and feel that love is enough?

Disappointment, hurt or simply taking one another for granted are the three major reasons why we feel less in a relationship over time. Finances and money issues are a HUGE downer for any relationship as well. Some men/women feel that they need to be making 'x' amount of dollars to maintain a healthy relationship and the need for the fancy cars, big houses, etc become more relevant in their mind. Those things are like their trophies so to speak, whereas myself personally, love is all I'd need and I'd move into a shack if it meant a happier healthier bond. Money makes a man feel superior. He holds himself high upon a pedestal and to others so if things are not going well for him financially, his entire way of living can change and that includes his affection for you.

If you feel that your relationship is lacking the glamour and luster that it once had, if you are a lover and a fighter and stand by your man/woman you may have to begin taking steps backward. Go back to the earlier days when your relationship began and reconstruct it. Trust and communication are key here folks. You either have it or you don't.

Its time to get out of the relationship blues! Add some spark again! If you relationship is worth saving and you are in love but you forgot how to show it…Start dating your honey again, and do romantic things for your partner. Love my friends does not cost a thing! Cook them dinner, give them a massage, draw their bath for them. Go back to the happy days when your relationship was new and less stressful. Grow together again in a physical and intimate way. Do something fun, playful and maybe even a bit risqué. Buy something sexy. Lingerie catches any mans eye if the right piece is worn. It will turn his head and give his libido a boost. Perhaps it is time to show him eye candy? Sexy lingerie such as role play costumes or bedroom or fantasy costumes are playful.





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Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Sexting...The Crave of Today's Society

I must be out of the loop because for the longest time I had NO idea what sexting was, let alone how to do it. Sure we all get the point of it, text crossed with sex equals sext! My curiosity got the best of me and I pondered where it actually came from? I had no idea what this was all about until a few years ago when a governor or congressman got caught doing it and all shit hit the fan. First of all, yes I am naive and you might say that I am a bit behind the times in some areas, but really...my inquiry would be this; why would anyone do this where there could be a paper trail if they didn't want to get caught? Are you people idiots, really? If you don't care, then ok, but if you have something to hide or you need to be discrete, think real long and hard before you doing something like sexting.

This is the kind of question that causes me countless hours of sleep deprovation so I decided to research it. And by research, I mean hitting up good old Google. It appears that sexting first appeared way back in the dark days of 2004. This was before people took to taking naughty pics of themselves and posted them everywhere. Gone were the days when sending a risque text to the wrong person was still cause for acute embarrassment. Hello, there's no holding back and lets talk dirty are the days of the new era. This should only be done by adults, but oh no...the younger kids are intrigued by it far more than many adults and it is sad to see how many children are adapting to this new behavior.

 I'm going to go out on a limb here and state that I will probably catch a lot of crap for this but so be it; most of you who know me will know that I speak my mind and I don't hold back my thoughts.

The true definition for sexting is sending sexually explicit messages via cell phone or instant messenger. As technology has advanced and cell phones have the capability to record and send photos and video, the practice of sending suggestive and explicit pictures has increased, especially among teens, which, btw this would not be happening with young kids if the parents did NOT get the kids cell phones at such early ages...I mean really? Is that necessary? Society has evolved so much now that cell phones with kids are a necessity. Might I make a simple suggestion? Find a way to block certain things so that your children cannot get into trouble.The cell phone, now like a loaded gun has a variety of options and so many ways for teens to get into trouble. No young children should have cell phones, period. We didn't have devices back in the day and we all turned out just fine, so please, spare me the drama.

So now lets talk about college age students that sext. Sid you know that recently the University of Michigan looked into the sexting behavior of over 3,400 men and women between the ages of 18 and 24 and discovered that sending titillating texts is, believe it or not, quite normal. It's just something that's become part of the dating icon, and the researchers contend that or some warning of psychological problems, nor is it linked to risky sexual encounters. Sexters were not more likely than non-sexters to sleep with more people or have unprotected sex.

 Listen up... It’s a brave new world out there, especially when technology is involved. Things are moving faster and faster. Indeed, the faster things move, the more abbreviated the steps become. Nowhere is that more true than when it comes to communication. So, it’s no wonder that texting has become a major part of many people’s lives.The evolution of sexting then should also come as no surprise – and I think it can be great fun for the adult set (and I mean strictly adults only).
It’s a clever way to keep things hot and an easy way to play even if you’re a little shy. Besides, sometimes it's easier to say things via sext, than face to face. This way you get a reaction via text and it breaks down the way of shyness a lot easier for those who dare ask the questions one might never had the guts to investigate.
 
 As for us in the adult world...I say why not? I was talking to a coworker today about not knowing what to write about and she suggested this, and I said "Hey what a great idea!" Thanks Nap! Then this evening I found myself doing some borderline sexting myself, all in a playful way of course. Thank You Pittsburgh, for making my night so enjoyable. There is something to be said about this man that is yet to be determined, however, he has my attention, and that is something that most men don't get too easily.

For you adults reading this you might ask; why sext? Well why the hell not? In my opinion, and it is completely an unprofessional opinion at best... here are a few reasons to set fingers to keys: A day-long tease can lead to a night-long in-person session.The embarrassment factor is removed because you don’t have to see the person while you’re typing your naughty thoughts. It brings the fun back to sex. It’s not supposed to be so serious after all. If you are still in the flirting stage, it can help you to ease your way to the next step. It keeps you on your toes, thinking of new things to say and new ways to respond.But who knows, it sounds like the research is saying there's a healthy, fun side of sexting.

Are you still not sure what the code or lingo is for sexting? Allow me to share some common knowledge of the sexting world; Below are 50 sexting codes as comprised by the online dictionary. I feel so old fashion right now reading these...I had no idea that there were so many abbreviations for what I refer to it as "smut talking." (especially if kids are doing this)

Warning: Some language is explicit.

1. 8 - Oral sex
2. 1337 - Elite
3. 143 - I love you
4. 182 - I hate you
5. 459 - I love how u you me
6. 1174 - Nude club
7. 420 - Marijuana
8. ADR - Address
9. ASL - Age/Sex/Location
10. banana - Penis
11. CD9 - Code 9 - it means parents are around
12. DUM - Do You Masturbate?
13. DUSL - Do You Scream Loud?
14. FB - F*** Buddy
15. FMLTWIA - F*** Me Like The Whore I Am
16. FOL - Fond of Leather
17. GNOC - Get Naked On Cam
18. GYPO - Get Your Pants Off
19. IAYM - I Am Your Master (ok, seriously?)
20. IF/IB - In the Front -or- In the Back
21. IIT - Is It Tight?
22. ILF/MD - I Love Female/Male Dominance
23. IMEZRU - I Am Easy, Are You?
24. IWSN - I Want Sex Now
25. J/O - Jerking Off
26. KFY -or- K4Y - Kiss For You
27. kitty - Vagina
28. KPC - Keeping Parents Clueless
29. LMIRL - Let's Meet In Real Life
30. MOOS - Member Of The Opposite Sex
31. MOSS - Member(s) Of The Same Sex
32. MorF - Male or Female
33. MOS - Mom Over Shoulder
34. MPFB - My Personal F*** Buddy
35. NALOPKT - Not A Lot Of People Know That
36. NIFOC - Nude In Front Of The Computer
37. NMU - Not Much, You?
38. P911 - Parent Alert
39. PAL - Parents Are Listening
40. PAW - Parents Are Watching
41. PIR - Parent In Room
42. POS - Parent Over Shoulder -or- Piece Of Sh**
43. PRON - Porn
44. Q2C - Quick To Cum
45. RU/18 - Are You Over 18?
46. RUH - Are You Horny?
47. S2R - Send To Receive
48. SorG - Straight or Gay
49. TDTM - Talk Dirty To Me
50. WYCM - Will You Call Me?


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