How many times have you been out and about with someone you just began to date, your boyfriend, lover or spouse and you caught their eyes roaming on others they appeared to be attracted to in some way? Beside wanting to give them a fat lip or an ear full of what was on your mind at that very moment, take a step back and ponder this if you will. Is there such thing as looking “too much”? Is it disrespectful to you and the relationship? If you are seeking my opinion I would say YES it is totally disrespectful. My husband did it all the time and I called him on it. He blamed me for insecurities. What? I was not insecure nor was I ever with who "I" am, however, they say that people who do this do it for attention because they lack it. I say that there is NO excuse for this and it truly belittles the man/woman you are with when this occurs. Why would you do this?
Listen, it may not appear threatening early in the attraction, when everything seems innocent. Remember, though, that attractions grow quickly and can destroy your marriage.First off... Even if your relationship/marriage manages to survive, at the very least the lurking will weaken the foundation of your trust and rob your spouse/partner of your full captivation.Your second line of defense is to declare,repeat after me.. "I have no right to think these things." State this to yourself clearly, decisively, and often. You don’t even know this woman; who are you to be attracted to her? The third line of defense is to heighten your alert. What do you normally do when you feel threatened? You take off your jacket and breathe deeply. You ready yourself for what’s coming. Knock it off and keep your eyes where they should be, on your mate, lover, partner, spouse!
While finding other people attractive is normal and part of human nature, there is a way to go about it and not go about it. When a person is on his or her own, he or she can feel more free about looking at someone else, without worrying about anyone feeling hurt by it. When one is with their partner however, it would be best to try and be discreet about checking someone else out. A quick glance is harmless, but if a partner is checking someone out in a way that is in the form of staring, exchanging smiles or undressing them with his or her eyes, it then become disrespectful their partner and the relationship. This can make their partner feel hurt, upset, disrespected and even unattractive- which can unnecessarily lower their self-esteem.
When a Wandering Eye becomes a real problem…
Checking other people out is usually harmless if done casually every now and then. It can become a real problem when it is done constantly though. If your partner is more occupied checking other people out rather than focusing on his or her time with you and admiring you, then it could be a sign that your partner is losing interest in the relationship and you should start paying attention to other signs and behaviors that can help you figure out what is really going on.
What you should do about it…
If you have a partner with a wandering eye and are tired of it, then it is time for communication! There is no shame in letting your partner know that you feel hurt and upset by his or her behavior. After all, a relationship is about being open and honest with each other and your partner should care about your feelings and want to make you happy. This is not about you being immaturely jealous either- it is about you claiming the respect you feel you deserve from your partner (the same kind of respect you partner would expect from you). So let your partner know that his or her constant wandering eye is upsetting you and makes you feel disrespected and you are not okay with it. If your partner truly cares, then he or she will make a real effort to stop checking other’s out in front of you, or at least keep it under real control so you do not feel so disrespected. If the wandering eye continues after you pour your heart out about it, then your partner has shown you how important your feelings are to him or her and you should then decide if you wish to continue putting up with it or not. I think we all have a little flirt in us...however, flirting to be silly and actually flirting while with your partner is wrong, not to mention quite disrespectful. Shame on you! Your eyes should be on one person....the one you're with.
Listen, it may not appear threatening early in the attraction, when everything seems innocent. Remember, though, that attractions grow quickly and can destroy your marriage.First off... Even if your relationship/marriage manages to survive, at the very least the lurking will weaken the foundation of your trust and rob your spouse/partner of your full captivation.Your second line of defense is to declare,repeat after me.. "I have no right to think these things." State this to yourself clearly, decisively, and often. You don’t even know this woman; who are you to be attracted to her? The third line of defense is to heighten your alert. What do you normally do when you feel threatened? You take off your jacket and breathe deeply. You ready yourself for what’s coming. Knock it off and keep your eyes where they should be, on your mate, lover, partner, spouse!
While finding other people attractive is normal and part of human nature, there is a way to go about it and not go about it. When a person is on his or her own, he or she can feel more free about looking at someone else, without worrying about anyone feeling hurt by it. When one is with their partner however, it would be best to try and be discreet about checking someone else out. A quick glance is harmless, but if a partner is checking someone out in a way that is in the form of staring, exchanging smiles or undressing them with his or her eyes, it then become disrespectful their partner and the relationship. This can make their partner feel hurt, upset, disrespected and even unattractive- which can unnecessarily lower their self-esteem.
When a Wandering Eye becomes a real problem…
Checking other people out is usually harmless if done casually every now and then. It can become a real problem when it is done constantly though. If your partner is more occupied checking other people out rather than focusing on his or her time with you and admiring you, then it could be a sign that your partner is losing interest in the relationship and you should start paying attention to other signs and behaviors that can help you figure out what is really going on.
What you should do about it…
If you have a partner with a wandering eye and are tired of it, then it is time for communication! There is no shame in letting your partner know that you feel hurt and upset by his or her behavior. After all, a relationship is about being open and honest with each other and your partner should care about your feelings and want to make you happy. This is not about you being immaturely jealous either- it is about you claiming the respect you feel you deserve from your partner (the same kind of respect you partner would expect from you). So let your partner know that his or her constant wandering eye is upsetting you and makes you feel disrespected and you are not okay with it. If your partner truly cares, then he or she will make a real effort to stop checking other’s out in front of you, or at least keep it under real control so you do not feel so disrespected. If the wandering eye continues after you pour your heart out about it, then your partner has shown you how important your feelings are to him or her and you should then decide if you wish to continue putting up with it or not. I think we all have a little flirt in us...however, flirting to be silly and actually flirting while with your partner is wrong, not to mention quite disrespectful. Shame on you! Your eyes should be on one person....the one you're with.
© This article is a copyright of Simply Delicious Lingerie.
No comments:
Post a Comment