Is My Partner/Spouse Cheating?

It is a sad truth but there are times in our relationships and even during our marriages where we begin to wonder "if" something is going on because his/her life and whereabouts just aren't adding up and something is beginning to smell real fishy! Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. Please note that this is only a list and it is not accusing anyone of being the deceiver in a relationship...nonetheless, it does make it a bit questionable when a lot of these topics listed below start adding up and making more and more sense.

Signs of a Cheating Spouse:

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you've had a vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days, went to an all day spa, or got need to drive around and just 'think.'

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner again with you.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a "glow" about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

43) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

44) He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

45) The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

Cheating on your partner is like injecting a drug with a dirty needle, yeah, really, it is.... even if the drug is a good medicine for you, the delivery mechanism is a problem onto itself.
It exasperates me that these discussions rarely consider any alternative to cheating. What's even more sad is that they (the cheater) get so good at it that often it happens right under your nose.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

Marriage, Relationship and the Mistress....

Why do relationships fail? What is it in a marriage that makes your spouse cheat? Do they fall out of love, is it boredom, do needs more zest and spice in their life? Are they feeling old and tired of being with the same woman for several years? Mid-life crisis...or did a younger woman catch their eye? When men cheat, they do it for a variety of reasons, and most often they don't think that they'll get caught...in fact some men are very good at it and never get caught. For the most part, men that cheat are generally the ones that say that they are happy with their wife. Pardon me, but if you were happy you wouldn't be sharing your penis with another woman!

Most men don't realize how good they have it until it's too late and they get caught, then again some are so good that they will NEVER get caught. Being the other woman has it's perks, or so they may think, but later on the other woman may get bored and tired of always coming second. They get empty promises and little respect. Duhhh? Of course you do, you're the other woman. Any woman reading this article that has ever been cheated on by her husband will have steam coming out of her ears right now. It's painful and the trust can never heal your heart. Many will tell you that it does, but those of you who say this are the ones that sit with that uneasy feeling (you know the one) in your gut when he calls to say he has a late meeting, or that they guys are going out to celebrate someones promotion, or it's a coworkers birthday and we're taking him out for drinks....sound familiar?

Men who cheat really must think that they have life by the balls? They make their mistresses a lot of promises...why? To keep the romance going, to keep her from getting too close to the home front and causing chaos with his personal life. Many men that I know told me that they did it because they had far too much (financially) at stake to lose should they up and leave their wives. Isn't that just peachy to know that while your slaving in the kitchen to get dinner ready, preparing to host dinner and cocktail parties, and running kids all over timbuku, that he's out getting naked with someone else because it would cost him too much to leave you? It's sad, but oh so typical. What is worse is the women that actually do know that their husbands are sleeping with someone else but they stay and remain quiet because she can't make it without him financially, or doesn't want to lose her material possessions. Guess what sister? You've already just sold your soul to the devil.

Soooo, for those of you whom don't know the true definition of a mistress?

Mistress: A mysterious sexy woman that a married man sees in secret to have a romantic and sexual relationship with. This is the definition of a mistress. There is good sex, hotel room adventures, late nights, seductive phone calls, exciting secret dates, gifts and the thrill of doing something bad.

But is being a mistress as glamorous as it seems? Those who do it will tell you YES, but do you want my opinion? Buckle your seat belts...because what I have to say is not pretty.They are ruthless, have low self-esteem, and lack much confidence. If they had any morals whatsoever, they would not at all be sleeping with someone who was already "spoken for" shall we say. Home wreckers would be an understatement. 9 times out of 10 having a mistress turns out to be convenient. (for him)....but for you, it will lead to heartache if you develop feelings.

  Being a mistress has its exciting moments and these are the moments that convince women to become a mistress in the first place. In the beginning, the mistress holds all the power. She is the one who has the married man under a love spell and she gets all his attention and time that he should be spending with his wife. She is the one he fantasizes about when he is with his wife and the one he misses. He urges for her company and longs to hear her voice. The mistress is the woman a married man makes first priority and will shower her with gifts to keep her happy. This all sounds fun and good, but it is very short lived and eventually, the light goes on and shines on the truth of what the life of a mistress really is and eventually becomes after the sexy stage is over.

 Relationships that start off in deception usually always end in deception! My grandmother used to always say "Once a cheater, Always a cheater!"  When a woman gets involved with a married man, she turns a blind eye to the fact that he is a cheater and an unreliable partner. She sees only what she wants to see and believes only what she wants to believe. She acknowledges the fact that he is cheating on his wife with her, but refuses to see that she too is a victim of his selfish behavior- choosing to make herself his victim. Men rarely leave their wives and family for their mistresses, which means that they string their mistresses along, having them believe that one day they will both be together with no more hiding around. Mistresses hang on to this fantasy, believing that their married lover truly loves them and will eventually be with them and this begins a long journey of emotional pain, emptiness and endless waiting.

Listen, if you are someones mistress, you are pathetic, and if you are reading this blog post, get your head out of the sand and get a real life.. starting NOW!

Face the truth. Statistically, it is incredibly rare that a married man will leave his wife for the other woman. In the rarest occasions that this does occur, an overwhelming majority of the resulting marriages to a mistress end, usually because of trust issues. Going into the relationship with zero expectations of a lasting, rewarding relationship or marriage is the first step for the other woman to gain empowerment and, ultimately, recover from the emotional damage wrought by extramarital affairs.

What should you do? Develop outside interests. The road to healing begins by making sure that the other woman has interests outside of the married man. This is effective on two fronts: while the other activities help distract the mistress from fixating on the married man, it is also an opportunity to meet available men who may be able to provide a healthier relationship. Be sure that the outside interest is conducive to a healthy lifestyle, so as not to deepen issues that may lead to extramarital affairs, because in the end, you go home to an empty quiet house and he,..well he... has a beautiful family and the perfect life that you don't fit into the equation, and you NEVER will, no matter how many times you try. Don't you think you deserve better?

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com

WhY wOmEn CheAT?

As a divorced woman myself, I still ask so many times why do people cheat? In this article please note (ladies) that I am not picking on you, this article is about why women cheat. I have a part 2 that asks "Why do men cheat?" First things first...Whenever people choose to cheat on their partners, there is usually some specific reason that led to the decision to seek physical comfort outside the relationship. In the case of married women who cheat, there are several common reasons why they choose to step out on their husbands.

Here are a few examples. Perhaps the most common reasons why a woman would choose to cheat on her spouse has to do with a lack of attention. When the husband is emotionally cold or distant, or spends most of his time at work, yes the old' workaholic, the wife may become frustrated that she does not seem to be of any importance. Guys if this sounds like you, it's time to make some changes, otherwise you may be in for some bigger problems on the home front. In order to obtain what she needs to feel wanted, she may choose to begin an affair. Even if the affair is purely physical, she has the full attention of a man for at least the amount of time they are together.

In some instances, the woman may find that her libido is not in sync with that of her husband. The end result is that she is left without an outlet for physical gratification. As a means of filling in the gap, she may take on a lover who can offer her physical companionship when her husband is not in the mood. When health issues prevent the husband from being physically responsive to the sexual needs of his wife, the situation can be very touchy. This is very different from a husband who is capable of engaging in sexual activity with his wife, but chooses to not do so. In this scenario, married women who cheat may see this as the only way to get through the crisis and remain supportive of her husband while he deals with health issues. Last, married women who choose to cheat may do so because they have no physical interest in their husbands. My next topic may strike a nerve....
Who do women who seem to have everything cheat? The answer is easy, because they are in the constant search for perfection, because they know that there must be something better than what they already have and so they start searching for it. Most probably they will not find it, or end up finding something worse than what they already have. In this case they will feel bad and realize they did a mistake by doing this, and if they are lucky enough, this hidden escapade will be their secret forever.
There is another reason for the question: Why do women cheat? – And most definitely we all encountered this phenomenon. Boredom appears in the couple after a certain amount of time; the woman wishes to experiment something new and is not ready to transmit this to her partner. She has the feeling that her partner might think she is depraved if her wishes to experiment are eccentric. This is what leads to another mistake; they will try that new thing with a new partner, which they do not know well enough. Again, in this case, the woman will come back to her home, with a well kept secret.
The attraction may have been more along the lines of a secure financial future or a prominent place in local society. When this is the case, the woman may discreetly take on a lover who does excite her physically, while still fulfilling her other roles in the marriage. While there are many different reasons that motivate married women who cheat, the bottom line is that cheating carries a great deal of risk. Lives can be changed forever, reputations can be ruined, and friends and family may suffer if the cheating comes to light. If you are thinking of cheating for any reason, think twice. While the activity may provide some temporary pleasure, the benefits rarely outweigh the liabilities.

www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com