Are You Crazy... or Just Falling in L-O-V-E?

L-O-V-E... is probably one of the most powerful words in the English language. These four letters are a whole lot more than just telling someone you love them. What about showing them? Often, it can be a constant struggle resulting in endless efforts to show your mate that you truly mean it by your actions. My grandmother used to always say that actions speak louder than words, and I believe that to be true, nonetheless, those three powerful words are the words that every man/woman longs to hear. When you start dating someone, you never really know where it is heading? It could go well, or it could turn out as a big disaster. 

Chemistry is key, but communication is imperative. Before you find love there is friendship. The two after time go hand in hand. Some might ask themselves..."Am I crazy or just falling in love?" You my friend are the only one that truly has the answer to that question. Please do not misconstrue what I say from what I mean as my intentions are not to make anyone angry. You can be quite happy with someone in a relationship and just date them. You do not have to ever feel pressured to say the words "I love you." If there is pressure, there is possession, (your first red flag) and you my friend better run for your life now before it's too late. 

Word of Advice; Don't tell someone that you love them one minute then do something hurtful and selfish the next like sleeping with their friend, revisiting a dating site ‘just because’ someone may have shown some interest in you, or ignore their calls. The list of “no-nos” is forever endless. Women take things so personal where as most men don’t even think that they are doing anything wrong. Really? Guys you better shape up or that woman that you’re telling you love will hit the road and by the time you figure out what it was that you did wrong she’ll be long gone and you my friend will be like the song goes “Dust in The Wind!”

You don't tell someone you love him or her and never make an effort to show them. There are countless ways that these simple words can express your feelings such as cuddling with them or holding their hand and reassuring them you will always be there for them no matter what. Drawing them a hot bath at night with a glass of wine to end the day, tucking them into bed and ‘not’ expecting to have sex because you know that they’ve had a rough day, cooking them dinner, planning a weekend getaway, or just smiling at them with that look in your eye that you get when you are with her/him that makes you go absolutely crazy!

Love is something rare. Love is something that if you are lucky enough to experience once in your lifetime you should be most grateful. Twice, or more is simply like seeing a shooting star. So many people say that they love their partner but do they really know the true meaning and how much emphasis goes along with it? No, saying that you love someone doesn’t mean its followed by a marriage proposal, it simply means that you’ve met your match and he/she is all that you can think about, want, or need. It means wanting to spend your time getting to know them more. It means opening your heart to new things and letting your guard down. 

There is a certain sense of reassurance that also goes along with love. To love one must first trust. Without trust, there is no love nor should there even be a relationship for that matter. No woman or man wants to go around second guessing what their partner/mate/lover is or is not doing and with whom. Love is about maturity and communication. My grandmother used to say that  to love is like making the perfect casserole. You need all of the right ingredients. Without even just one of them the dish won’t be the same and it certainly won’t have the appeal, desire or taste. Love and communication go hand in hand. One must build a relationship on a solid foundation. If the foundation is not solid, and if you or your mate lies, cheats, and or is deceptive in the relationship in any way, you’ll sink like quick sand. It’s not to late to rebuild that foundation if you’re beginning to sink now…Love is about fault, and mistakes and learning to accept that person for the good and bad. Love is about understanding why one does the things that he or she does. When two people love one another, there is nothing that can or will get in their way.

If you are middle aged like myself and you keep trying to meet the right man and time after time you are let down, then he is not the one for you. Many men and women have commitment phobias. My non-professional advice? Shit or get off the pot my friend. It’s real simple. Don’t say that you love someone if you cannot back that ass up. Words such as ‘I love you’  are so easy to say but so difficult to take back, so if you aren’t sure, don’t be a schmuck and say that you do. You never want to give someone false hope. That’s mean and so wrong on so many levels.