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Marriage, Memories, Back Youngstown Ohio...Home Sweet Home

Ladies, For those of you between the ages of 18 and 21 especially who are batting the idea around or getting married soon..... Don't get all hell bent when the late 20s, 30 and over 40s crowd advises you to wait. We KNOW what we're talking about. I see SO MANY situations with married couples that got married very young and are in the midst of some serious problems. And most of them are due to the lack of maturity and life experience of the couple. Had they WAITED for a few years, they likely would not be in such difficult situations.
A marriage is about 20% bliss and about 80% of busting your hump to keep it together with ANY couple. How can I give such advice? I am a product of age 19 and married. Age 22 and two children later I was an adult way beyond my years. Go to college, finish college, and get a good education. My number one mistake was not doing this.

What happens? Nothing right now, but later in your marriage he may use it as leverage over you. You have now become the statistics of women who were even if they wanted to leave their marriages, don't because of low self esteem, no confidence, and the fear of not surviving financially without him. My daughter told me that she was going to college for "her." She said to me after my divorce; "Mom, I never want a man to make me feel like Dad made you feel." Out of the mouth of babes. She is 27 and single. She has a successful job in marketing, she travels the globe and is in NO HURRY.

 College courses and all the therapy in the world could never teach someone how to be a good parent and wife. It has to come from within. Maturity and that of, lacks in many couples which is what leads to such a high divorce rate in the 2010 survey done recently. Please don't misconstrue what I am trying to say here gals.....Take my advice as one experienced woman whose married bit the dust, and who raised two kids solo. Regrets? I have not one. I believe that what happens,...happens for a reason, and we learn from our mistakes. I had a really good marriage for a long time, but marrying at 19 certainly was not easy. No, I do not condemn this in anyway. I did it, and so can you. Confidence, courage and much determination to prove everyone wrong when everyone you knew thought your marriage would fail was ammunition enough fro me to work harder to prove everyone wrong. Well, I tried, but a marriage a is 50/50 partnership. Mine was 80/20. I just got tired of giving and giving and getting very little respect.

So, here I am back in my home town Youngstown, Ohio. I was raised here and now after 28 years of being away, I am home running by lingerie businesses, http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/, and building http://www.simplylusciouslingerie.com/  and my two travel stores which btw are great for honeymoon and romantic getaway trips, http://www.simplydelicioustravel.com/, http://www.savintravel.com/ my sister store for plus size lingerie now opening sometime this winter.
Through my bridal and wedding lingerie, I create memories by selling bridal and wedding lingerie to women whose special day is around the corner and the happiest moment of their lives, their dream wedding about to come true. I believe in true love, and love at first sight...Yes, it does and can happen. To those of you whom think it cannot I say shame on you for being Debbie Downer. Don't rain on someones parade. This is their special time.

Ask any woman what she's looking for in a mate and she'll probably rattle off a checklist of must-haves that's totally unique to what every other woman has on her list. But there's one characteristic that's in practically every man's top five: being adventurous.

How come? All men crave, and I mean CRAVE adventure and a lot of guys (incorrectly) assume that settling down with a woman and feeling comfortable and stable in a relationship means giving up the possibility of adventure. (Hey, watch enough sitcoms and it's hard not to feel that way.) Which is why, when a woman comes along who not only makes us feel like we won't have to give up leading an adventurous life, but also inspires and encourages us to do more adventurous things with them, it's hot. Really super hot.

It all boils down to showing him that being with you will never be boring. Men never want to be bored in their relationships. Why? they have ants in their pants and never want to sit still. I refer to this as they love to play sports, etc. believe me, give them a "honey do list" and they are gone like a puff of smoke! Men desire adventurous women are never boring. Maybe it's wild sex, maybe it's trying exotic foods, maybe it's sneaking into an exclusive club, or maybe it's deciding where to go the day before you leave for vacation.What I'm saying is that you don't need to necessarily put yourself in harm's way to prove you've got an adventurous streak. Relationships are like jobs, you work all the time for a promotion.

The trick, yes ladies, always have and idea or two up your sleeve for safe keeping. This is to show him that you're open to new experiences and going out of your comfort zone. Men want fun, so do we, but sometimes we have a difficult way of expressing in, so get to know one another. Take you time...there's no fire to put out anywhere, so don't turn up the heat just yet ladies. The bottom line is that if you show a man that you have this trait, he'll cross deserts, climb mountains and fight raging rivers to catch your heart. What is most important in love and a relationship is learning how to balance love, marriage, a family and a career.

It can be done.

 My parents are celebrating their 49th wedding anniversary in two weeks and I have never seen two people so happy before. Sure they argue sometimes, but they are silly arguments that last about 10 seconds before I jump in and crack a joke calling them "kids" and tell them to knock this shit off. I look at these two amazing people that married when they were in their early 20s just as I was and say "It can happen!" Love is patience...., and believe me when I say, my mother isn't the easiest woman to get along with...My father is a saint.

Don't be in a hurry to cross the singles finish line the race over to marriage unless you are sure it is the right time, and the right thing to do. Only you know this. Trust your gut...believe me, it will save much, much heartache down the road if it doesn't feel right, or if you think you can get him to change his ways...(like I did) think again. Dream on sister...It's not going to happen, and if it does, wait for the tornado like storm later in marriage when he tells you that you ruined his life and robbed him of his best years. Men often feel as if they didn't live life enough. That's where mid-life crisis comes in and I could write a book on that one. It will surely be a blog soon! My advice to anyone you who are at that young impressionable age like I was thinking that life was a great big lala land and you'd live happily ever after,...before you tie the knot and ride off into the sunset...make certain that it is what you really want to do. If I knew then what I know now, my life would be different in many so ways.

Dating After Marriage... Keeping the Spark!

One of the biggest complaints from men and women about their spouses is how much they have changed since they were first dating. Why is this ask? Well, seems pretty simple to me.....We tend to put our best foot forward during the courting ritual, doing our utmost to impress our dates. We try to be polite, courteous, caring, giving, sensitive, well-groomed and well-mannered......and then, we get married (or engaged or move in together) and revert back to our old, self-centered, slovenly tendencies. We slip into doing things the old way, and not feeling like we have to work so hard on the relationship, even though now it has become a union. Gone are the days of have "you" time, as now it's called "we" time.....When you love someone and what to make your relationship work, and grow to get the fullest potential, wouldn't we work harder to keep that bond with our partners?

If you feel that your relationship may have lost some of its ’spark,’ ask yourself if you are acting the same way as when you went out on those first few dates. Can you imagine how different our relationships would be if we always behaved as though we were wooing our significant other? We would belch, complain, argue, curse, whine and nag less. We would bathe, smile, caress, encourage, give, clean and communicate more.
If you desire to keep (or renew) that first date spark, you should never stop dating and courting the one you love, no matter how long you have been together. This is putting your best foot forward and making a change n your life for the good. Marriage isn't to be entered into lightly.....it is a commitment, some say it is like a contract, except you didn't just buy a big screen TV with no interest for 24 months, or a new vehicle for 60 months....you bought a life time of companionship, friendship, love, and romance all rolled into one. You stand by your partner and walk beside him/her, never in front of or behind...a partnership is 50/50. Not 60/40, 70/30, 80/20 and certainly not 90/10.

 Courage, strength, determination and commitment....key factors for each and every one of us to have with our partner. Today, people don't take marriage like they did some 20-30 years ago. It's a contract today all right but a contract of  "pre-nups" and empty promises that are broken faster than a glass hitting the floor. My thought are; If you cannot do the simple things to make your partner happy, and wish to give up and just stop romancing them, or if you can no longer be creative because "Hey, your married now, you don't have to try so hard any more!" .......If this is your attitude.....then don't do it!! Are you one of these people, or do you know someone like this?.....Relationships are between two people, not a circle of friends and certainly not an entire family. If you have to work hard to put on a good show by trying to impress your friends and family, you should really take a long hard look at yourselves.... Do what you do for you, not everyone else. It's really not all about the "Status Quo" ....and if you think that it is,....my friend you have problems and I can't help you.

 Think think think, before you commit.... if you do love one another and you are best friends and work very little to make the relationship work because it just does, and like that piece of the missing puzzle it all falls into place....you'll have it made! Life is certainly about challenges and hurdles,....flowers and romance, candle light dinners, walks on the beach hand in hand and weekend getaways, regardless of your age.....you should always date after marriage, even if its one night a week or once a month. Communicate,....this is the key to successful relationships. Without it, your foundation/partnership will never survive.Make a splash and enjoy life! Don't lose sight of the important things,...take those walks, hold hands, never go to bed angry and go one dates....not only are they romantic, and special....but so unique, one of a kind and exhilarating! Every day should be like walking off into the sunset together.....special and like a new day.

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