What is LOVE? Is it Real?

love [ luv ]  

1. feel tender affection for somebody: to feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an animal
2. feel desire for somebody: to feel romantic and sexual desire and longing for somebody
3. like something very much: to like something, or like doing, something very much

What is love? So many of us wonder if what we have is real, or like that of a dream awaiting the alarm clock to go off and bring us back to the real world, our reality! I will define it by describing what love is and what love is not. What is love varies from person to person but our need for it is the same. See if these descriptions ring true for you,...it sure did for me.

Self-love is the art of completely accepting our faults, completely appreciating our gifts, and completely acknowledging our individuality. (Individuality is the uniqueness that separates, and sometimes isolates us, from everyone else.) Once this is achieved, we are ready to love and be loved by another person.
Genuine self-love does not involve egotism, vanity, or self-valuation based on status or wealth. A person with true self-love is compassionate, humble, principled, and not affected by job titles or material possessions.
If you haven’t yet found love within yourself, then do it! When you begin to understand what is love, you’ll know that you are on the right path toward discovering self-love.


I can certainly tell you this......Real love is not possessive or exclusive. When we love someone, we want everyone to love them - we want them to live in the glow of loving and being loved by everyone. If you find the previous sentence challenging, please remember that true love is not sex or lust, and focus on the vital importance of keeping those concepts separate.

Real love is not possessive or exclusive. When we love someone, we want everyone to love them - we want them to live in the glow of loving and being loved by everyone. If you find the previous sentence challenging, please remember that true love is not sex or lust, and focus on the vital importance of keeping those concepts separate.

True love is never conditional. One can never say, "I'll love you, if you love me." That would describe some desperate bargain, but nothing approaching real love could be a part of it. True love is not diminished by circumstances. Can you imagine loving someone less because they broke a leg? Got an infection? Lost their job? A love that depends upon the talents and capabilities of the other is conditional, and not real love.


What You Will & Will Not Experience
How do you know if you are in love with the one who’s right? Don't we all wish we knew the answer to that, wouldn't it make our lives a whole lot easier, and allow our hearts not to break? The following lists will provide you with what you will and will not feel, think, share, and experience when you’re in love with the one who’s right. To be able to recognize what is love we need to know what it’s not as well as what it is.

You will:

• Love yourself more.
• Think of them before yourself.
• Want to be with them all the time.
• Harmonize with them without effort.
• Share many of the same goals.
• Share many of the same passions.
• Share many of the same principles.
• Share the same outlook on your home.
• Share similar views on money matters.
• Find humor in many of the same things.
• Trust them with your deepest thoughts.
• Get attention from them.
• Experience sexual fulfillment.
• Feel confident and sure about them.
• Feel motivated by them.
• Feel supported by them.
• Feel relaxed and comfortable with them.
• Feel better about yourself by what they say.
• Feel secure that they won’t leave you.
• Share the same vision for the future.
• Have the same answer to: “What is love?”
• Have the same feelings about what is love.

You will not:

• Begin to hate yourself.
• Think of what you want all the time.
• Feel like spending time away from them.
• Need to force your way with them.
• Be pulling in different directions.
• Be struggling to find common interests.
• Challenging each other’s motives.
• Have vastly different ideas on your home life.
• Be poles apart on how money is spent.
• Argue and fight all the time, if at all.
• Be afraid to share your deepest thoughts.
• Be ignored by them.
• Flirt with other people.
• Feel fear and anxiety about them
• Feel pressured by them.
• Feel they have little interest in your life.
• Have to force yourself to be pleasant.
• Feel bad about yourself by what they say.
• Feel insecure that they might leave you.

Everything may not match exactly, but most of it should. Use these lists as a guide. I found that many of these hit home, and oh if I only knew then what I know now....You will know when you have discovered life’s greatest treasure, because you will have a glorious unquestioning feeling in your gut that you are in love with the one who’s right, and they will feel the same. And you will know the answer to the question: “What is love?” Is it real or is it just a game?

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Dating After Marriage... Keeping the Spark!

One of the biggest complaints from men and women about their spouses is how much they have changed since they were first dating. Why is this ask? Well, seems pretty simple to me.....We tend to put our best foot forward during the courting ritual, doing our utmost to impress our dates. We try to be polite, courteous, caring, giving, sensitive, well-groomed and well-mannered......and then, we get married (or engaged or move in together) and revert back to our old, self-centered, slovenly tendencies. We slip into doing things the old way, and not feeling like we have to work so hard on the relationship, even though now it has become a union. Gone are the days of have "you" time, as now it's called "we" time.....When you love someone and what to make your relationship work, and grow to get the fullest potential, wouldn't we work harder to keep that bond with our partners?

If you feel that your relationship may have lost some of its ’spark,’ ask yourself if you are acting the same way as when you went out on those first few dates. Can you imagine how different our relationships would be if we always behaved as though we were wooing our significant other? We would belch, complain, argue, curse, whine and nag less. We would bathe, smile, caress, encourage, give, clean and communicate more.
If you desire to keep (or renew) that first date spark, you should never stop dating and courting the one you love, no matter how long you have been together. This is putting your best foot forward and making a change n your life for the good. Marriage isn't to be entered into lightly.....it is a commitment, some say it is like a contract, except you didn't just buy a big screen TV with no interest for 24 months, or a new vehicle for 60 months....you bought a life time of companionship, friendship, love, and romance all rolled into one. You stand by your partner and walk beside him/her, never in front of or behind...a partnership is 50/50. Not 60/40, 70/30, 80/20 and certainly not 90/10.

 Courage, strength, determination and commitment....key factors for each and every one of us to have with our partner. Today, people don't take marriage like they did some 20-30 years ago. It's a contract today all right but a contract of  "pre-nups" and empty promises that are broken faster than a glass hitting the floor. My thought are; If you cannot do the simple things to make your partner happy, and wish to give up and just stop romancing them, or if you can no longer be creative because "Hey, your married now, you don't have to try so hard any more!" .......If this is your attitude.....then don't do it!! Are you one of these people, or do you know someone like this?.....Relationships are between two people, not a circle of friends and certainly not an entire family. If you have to work hard to put on a good show by trying to impress your friends and family, you should really take a long hard look at yourselves.... Do what you do for you, not everyone else. It's really not all about the "Status Quo" ....and if you think that it is,....my friend you have problems and I can't help you.

 Think think think, before you commit.... if you do love one another and you are best friends and work very little to make the relationship work because it just does, and like that piece of the missing puzzle it all falls into place....you'll have it made! Life is certainly about challenges and hurdles,....flowers and romance, candle light dinners, walks on the beach hand in hand and weekend getaways, regardless of your age.....you should always date after marriage, even if its one night a week or once a month. Communicate,....this is the key to successful relationships. Without it, your foundation/partnership will never survive.Make a splash and enjoy life! Don't lose sight of the important things,...take those walks, hold hands, never go to bed angry and go one dates....not only are they romantic, and special....but so unique, one of a kind and exhilarating! Every day should be like walking off into the sunset together.....special and like a new day.

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