Where Do You Look For Confidence....

...When life has slammed the door in your face? What can you do to benefit from this? How do you avoid distress, hurt, pain and suffering? How do you find that inner strength when you've hit rock bottom?

 How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.

Recognize your insecurities.What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

Bounce back from your mistakes. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant.

Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. As Madonna once sang....Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours.  When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Remember, please...Rome was not build over night as my grandmother used to always say, so don't expect miraculas changes, take one day at a time and grow your strengths from those weaknesses you have within.

1. Take a moment and think about the 3 toughest things you've ever done in your life? Did they make you stronger? How were successful in coming through those crises? By mentally exploring these events, you'll learn about how you found your confidence in those instances and you can use these experiences to build on and go forward with. Now that's knowledge you can use. Learn from your mistakes, take your strengths to build upon your weaknesses and grow from them.

• Whenever you lack confidence, reflect on those tough times and the strategies you utilized to get through them.
     
• Feeling self-assured comes with knowing that you can make it through difficult times and emerge triumphant.

2. Where do your most significant achievements lie? Take some moments to survey your life. Whether it's teaching yourself how to take proper care of your lawn or reading the entire collection of Shakespeare, recognize that you've achieved all kinds of milestones.

• Then, reflect on your achievements and let yourself feel proud. Re-connect with the feelings of self-assurance you experienced at those times. Feel your confidence grow.
     
• Finally, allow yourself to look forward to a future filled with still more achievement.

3. Understand your mistakes. Hey, we all make them, so don't sweat the small stuff! An important aspect of finding your confidence is examining what you've done in the past that you now see as a mistake. Thoroughly understanding your prior errors is integral to developing your sense of self-assurance.

• Reviewing your mistakes allows you to say to yourself that you understand what happened and that you know now to approach those situations differently. Knowing what you did wrong and recognizing that you wouldn't do it the same way again builds confidence.
     
• When you realize that you've gained some applicable knowledge, you also strengthen your confidence that you can meet any challenge in the future.

4. Find a role model. Is there someone that you look up to, or perhaps that you see as a leader that you can learn a thing or two from? My guess is that you probably know someone who you believe exhibits great confidence. Using them as a role model can be instrumental in finding your own confidence.

• What does your role model's self-assurance look like? Does the person make eye contact when speaking to others? Can you see a comfortable ease with which he relates to others? Think about how the person you have in mind looks, acts, and talks.Remember, actions speak louder than words. Is this person loved by many? Is this person giving and compassionate?
     
• Perhaps your role model has a great sense of humor. The self-assured person isn't afraid to admit he's made a mistake. He may even gently laugh at himself for his errors. You have to be able to laugh at yourself!
      
• Now, try behaving like your role model. You truly can live your way into a new way of thinking. If you emulate the person whom you view as confident, you'll be more likely to exude self-assurance yourself.
     
• Even when you're experiencing a challenge and aren't feeling too sure about yourself, try "faking it till you make it." Use your knowledge about how confidence appears and behave that way. Soon after, you'll begin to recognize and connect with your own true confidence.

Although you might not always feel self-assured, take this time to be true to yourself. You do have confidence, it may just be hiding, afraid to come out...take the chance, you'll be quite happy that you did. remember, it's not about making those life changes in a day, or two days, or even a few months...it's taking it with baby steps one day at a time!

I found this book and found it to be very much worth reading. If you have time, pick it up and give it a lookie. I hope that you get something out of it just as I did.



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3 Easy Ways to BOOST your CONFIDENCE!

I think from time to time, we all tend to get a little down on ourselves...that's natural...but when you sink further and your self-esteem goes down the poop shoot..it's time for some reinforcements! Low self-confidence has the power to limit you in all areas of your life. It can hold you back in your career, prevent you from having healthy relationships, and even keep you disconnected from your inner power. You need to find your happy place and create a better YOU!

Boosting your confidence is often a simple matter of changing the way you see yourself. If you hold a negative self-image because of painful experiences from the past or constant negative reinforcement, creating a more positive self-image will help you to begin rebuilding your confidence. Buck up...and put on a happy face!

Here are 3 simple ways to begin seeing yourself in a more positive light:

Fake it and Put on a HAPPY FACE.

This is quite an old method, but one that can work surprisingly well if you give it enough effort. When you “pretend” that something is true, you perform a mental shift from one state to another. You are, in essence, moving yourself from one “reality” to another.The next time you’re out in a public place, pretend you are the most confident person in the world. Imagine that you are completely secure in your own capabilities and completely accepting of yourself as a unique and valuable person.

Consider how a person with these beliefs would act, and then make an effort to act that way. Pay attention to what happens when you do; how others treat you, how you feel about yourself and so on. You may be surprised to discover just how much attitude has to do with self-confidence.

Affirm ALL of your good qualities!

While faking confidence can be an immediate help, you will also need to address the underlying beliefs that cause your low self-confidence if you want to create lasting change.

One good way to do this is by forming a new habit of building yourself up. Take time to acknowledge the good things you do, the achievements you’ve made in the past, and even the effort you give to something new.

Speak kindly to yourself and develop a healthy appreciation for your skills and abilities. If you stop beating yourself up because you’re not the most perfect person in the world, you’ll probably discover that you’re not half bad, either!

See yourself as a growing work in progress. Remember, you can only get Better!

Remember that there will always be people who are more talented, smarter, braver, and better than you are in some way. If your confidence is suffering because you are trying to measure up to some impossible standard, learn to adjust your thinking a bit. You are just as good, smart and savvy as everyone else!

Affirm that you are a work in progress, and you get better every year. With each passing phase of your life, you grow in mastery. You are smarter than you were yesterday, better than you were last week, and more talented than you were last year. This is a process that will continue throughout your entire life. If you can keep in mind that you’ll never be “done” growing and learning, you’ll be able to see your capabilities as ever-evolving aspects of an ever-evolving you! Hold your heard high and remember, if you love yourself, everyone else will love you too!

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