Showing posts with label emotional insecurities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotional insecurities. Show all posts

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Where Do You Look For Confidence....

...When life has slammed the door in your face? What can you do to benefit from this? How do you avoid distress, hurt, pain and suffering? How do you find that inner strength when you've hit rock bottom?
 How do you get from Point A to Point B? True self-confidence isn't an overnight acquisition. It takes dedication to realize you are a good human being that is worthy of respect and love.

Recognize your insecurities.What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can also tear these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

Bounce back from your mistakes. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant.

Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized. As Madonna once sang....Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours.  When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Remember, please...Rome was not build over night as my grandmother used to always say, so don't expect miraculas changes, take one day at a time and grow your strengths from those weaknesses you have within.


1. Take a moment and think about the 3 toughest things you've ever done in your life? Did they make you stronger? How were successful in coming through those crises? By mentally exploring these events, you'll learn about how you found your confidence in those instances and you can use these experiences to build on and go forward with. Now that's knowledge you can use. Learn from your mistakes, take your strengths to build upon your weaknesses and grow from them.
  • Whenever you lack confidence, reflect on those tough times and the strategies you utilized to get through them.
       
  • Feeling self-assured comes with knowing that you can make it through difficult times and emerge triumphant.
2. Where do your most significant achievements lie? Take some moments to survey your life. Whether it's teaching yourself how to take proper care of your lawn or reading the entire collection of Shakespeare, recognize that you've achieved all kinds of milestones.
  • Then, reflect on your achievements and let yourself feel proud. Re-connect with the feelings of self-assurance you experienced at those times. Feel your confidence grow.
       
  • Finally, allow yourself to look forward to a future filled with still more achievement.
3. Understand your mistakes. Hey, we all make them, so don't sweat the small stuff! An important aspect of finding your confidence is examining what you've done in the past that you now see as a mistake. Thoroughly understanding your prior errors is integral to developing your sense of self-assurance.
  • Reviewing your mistakes allows you to say to yourself that you understand what happened and that you know now to approach those situations differently. Knowing what you did wrong and recognizing that you wouldn't do it the same way again builds confidence.
       
  • When you realize that you've gained some applicable knowledge, you also strengthen your confidence that you can meet any challenge in the future.
4. Find a role model. Is there someone that you look up to, or perhaps that you see as a leader that you can learn a thing or two from? My guess is that you probably know someone who you believe exhibits great confidence. Using them as a role model can be instrumental in finding your own confidence.
  • What does your role model's self-assurance look like? Does the person make eye contact when speaking to others? Can you see a comfortable ease with which he relates to others? Think about how the person you have in mind looks, acts, and talks.Remember, actions speak louder than words. Is this person loved by many? Is this person giving and compassionate?
       
  • Perhaps your role model has a great sense of humor. The self-assured person isn't afraid to admit he's made a mistake. He may even gently laugh at himself for his errors. You have to be able to laugh at yourself!
        
  • Now, try behaving like your role model. You truly can live your way into a new way of thinking. If you emulate the person whom you view as confident, you'll be more likely to exude self-assurance yourself.
       
  • Even when you're experiencing a challenge and aren't feeling too sure about yourself, try "faking it till you make it." Use your knowledge about how confidence appears and behave that way. Soon after, you'll begin to recognize and connect with your own true confidence.
Although you might not always feel self-assured, take this time to be true to yourself. You do have confidence, it may just be hiding, afraid to come out...take the chance, you'll be quite happy that you did. remember, it's not about making those life changes in a day, or two days, or even a few months...it's taking it with baby steps one day at a time!

I found this book and found it to be very much worth reading. If you have time, pick it up and give it a lookie. I hope that you get something out of it just as I did.



http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/


Sunday, January 22, 2012

Are Your Emotional Insecurities Holding You Back from Love?

Someone recently asked me....How do you find love when you have emotional insecurities? Can you get past these fragments that are holding you back from what could be a wonderful life? I've found that the very qualities we're most ashamed of, the ones we keep trying to reshape or hide, are in fact the key to finding real love, true happiness, and success in a relationship. Love my friend is a gift.

We all fear love to a certain degree because we know that it's so easy to get lost in the quest for self-improvement. News Flash....We're NOT PERFECT! It often seems quite impossible for the average Jane when every billboard we pass seduces us with the vision of a happier, more successful life.

 I realized that the characteristics were the ones which frequently caused them the most suffering. That's what it's like when we try to understand our deepest struggles without honoring the gifts that fuel them. When we understand our lives through the lens of our gifts it's as if we step out from behind the tapestry and really see it for the first time. All of a sudden, things make sense. We see the real picture, the moving, human story of what matters most to us. We begin to understand that our biggest mistakes, our most self-sabotaging behaviors were simply convulsive, unskilled attempts to express the deepest parts of ourselves. We want to be loved yet we fear love. Love is not a game or something to be entered into lightly.
Whoever came up with the idea that love is a game was nuts. Too many people mess with our hearts because they are insecure, and find love to be like a game....listen sweet cheeks, love is not a game. There is no designated winner or loser.

The idea that romance is a game - one where the player who best keeps his or her cool "wins" - is perpetuated by a self-help industry that makes billions from telling women that to be loved, they need to change the way they look, act, and feel. This industry preys on women's insecurities about being desirable by implying that they're not good enough as they are. And it tells women that when romance doesn't work out, it's because they did something wrong. Did they come on too strong? Did they reveal too much of themselves? Did they seem too needy or desperate? Did they step on the fragile male ego? Did they return his call too quickly? So what do we do ladies? we put on our "brave face." Guess what? Love couldn't care less about your brave face. It goes after what is incomparable and irreplaceable about you. It wants to penetrate the deepest recesses of your being. It wants to know what makes you tick and why.

My grandmother once made a statement that really stuck in my head; She said "If you never let yourself fall freely, you won't get anywhere near authentic love." The more you bury your singular spirit under some self-help game, the more difficult you make it for love to find you. And, if a woman needs to play games to hold a man's interest, chances are he's not the right man for her. The trouble with the games of romance is that eventually the mask will have to come off. The moral of this story is; Don't hide behind self doubt and insecurities. Learn how to overcome them.





http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/