Be Grateful, Not Hateful

Very few things can affect your overall quality of life as powerfully as your attitude can...and when people have negative attitudes they tend to rub off on others in a not so positive way leaving a real bad taste in your mouth. I call these people Debbie Downers or Negative Nancy's. Your attitude affects your career, your relationships, your hobbies, and even your financial status. So if you have a crappy attitude, it's time to make some changes! Most people discover that when they improve their attitude, everything else in their lives seems to improve also. What your attitude says about you is the magnet for the type of people that you will attract, so think long and hard before you see that glass half empty. Be grateful, not hateful!

A daily practice of gratitude is one simple way to give yourself a painless attitude adjustment because it reduces your temptation to focus on more "negative" mind-sets. When you feel grateful it is nearly impossible to feel frustrated, sad, empty, or disconnected. A negative focus and a gratitude focus cannot co-exist! They are opposites and will repel each other.

 The tips below are quick and highly effective. Make use of them today and start getting results immediately.

1. Rise and Shine!
Getting up early and taking a walk in the morning is a great way to start the day. Fifteen or twenty minutes is plenty of time for a quick walk in the brisk morning air.

2. Tomorrow is a New Day
When things aren't going the way you might like them to go, remember that as time passes, so do your troubles. At the time it may be hard to realize that things will get better, but rest assured they will.

3. Control
The only one who can give you a good attitude is you. And the great news is, it can happen whenever you want it to. You could wake up tomorrow with a brand new outlook on life. And why? Because your attitude is yours to control. You don't need permission from anyone to change it.

4. Circle of Friends
You may be trying to stay positive, but if your friends or coworkers are negative, it may make for a losing battle. The company you keep impacts your attitude greatly. Seldom will you find a group of negative thinkers and one positive attitude together. Negativity can spread, so be sure to keep clear of noticeably negative situations.

5. Healthy Diet
You have heard it a thousand times, and this will make it a thousand and one. A good diet is vital to maintaining energy, alertness, and a positive attitude. Without the necessary amounts of fuel for your body, it cannot function properly. If you find yourself in a tired and negative mood, ask yourself, 'Have I eaten yet today?'

6. Sleep
Just as important as a healthy diet is the right amount of sleep. It seems obvious but many people don't get enough sleep at night. Without rest, the body and mind become irritable, fatigued, and they drag through the day. The same effects can result from oversleeping. Make sure you get the sleep you need each night.


7. Do Unto Others
It's true what they say, you get what you give. When you focus on treating others positively and with respect, you will, in most cases, receive the same treatment. Change the focus from yourself to others and let the giving spirit be the reason for your improved view of the world.

Here are a few suggestions for using gratitude to improve your attitude:

1. Use gratitude to blot out unproductive feelings.

Sometimes we just get into a "funk" without knowing why. We wake up one morning and realize that we've lost our zest for life and a numb disinterest has taken its place. To turn this around, find something to be grateful for. Just one tiny thing is enough! Begin focusing on this thing as often as you can during the day, but most especially when that feeling of boredom or disinterest comes over you. Let a feeling of strong gratitude flood through your body, and you will shift to a more positive attitude almost immediately.

2. Begin expressing gratitude for the people around you each day.

Is your co-worker getting on your nerves? Find one thing about her you can be grateful for, and focus all of your attention on that when you start to feel annoyed. Remind yourself that everyone has both positive and negative personality traits - and you will encourage more displays of whatever you focus on! Focus on the positive traits of the people you encounter daily and watch as it transforms your interactions into mutually beneficial connections.

3. Become an optimist with the help of gratitude.

Do you find yourself in the habit of always expecting the worst? When you become aware that you have shifted into a pessimistic mind-set, consciously choose to shift into grateful optimism. For example, if you catch yourself saying something like this, "My boss doesn't appreciate anything I do so I probably won't get a raise this year" - stop and turn that thought into something like this: "I always do my absolute best for the company, and my commitment to excellence will reap great rewards. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to shine every day."

Hey, truth is that the results you get from these exercises may not be too obvious at first, but as you keep up with them you should begin to see a big difference in your attitude. You'll find yourself feeling lighter, happier, and automatically finding things to be grateful about all the time! 

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Becoming a CLASSY LADY.....

 Becoming a Classy Woman

Traditionally, classy means to be stylish and elegant; respectable and lovely. However, I find the traditional definition and ideas of how to be classy can be slightly limiting, depending on how you interpret it. It all starts with a little bit of R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

So let’s re-define classy in a better way:

CLASS;

A genuine, feminine and high quality woman who holds herself and thinks of herself highly regardless of what life circumstances may present, and despite what other people may think. A classy woman does not judge herself regardless of what mistakes she might make and knows that aiming for perfection is really failure because it is just a way to beat yourself up inside. Moreover, because of these attributes, a classy woman can handle all social situations and conversation with confidence.

Be True to YOU!

You cannot be classy unless you are true to yourself, are you hearing me ladies? Stay true to your feminine side and be OK being a woman. How about some effort here...Women are supposed to feel and more importantly look attractive. This is only going to happen when you exude femininity. It’s not about wanting to change what you’ve been given, or being superficial, it’s simply about taking pride in your femininity and your appearance.That being said, here are some things that I value as "key" to becoming a classy woman.

1) You should start by being a high quality woman and projecting (marketing) yourself as such.

What is classy is special. Classy is something you don’t get on your average street corner. However, the reason high class women are so rare is because most women give trash. The reason they give trash is because they think trash (about themselves and others), talk trash, and habitually focus on trash.

You cannot be high class if you don’t THINK you are high class. Confidence!!!!You have to start by believing you are top stuff. Ladies, it’s your job to market what you have, and to market yourself, you have to believe you are It. Ask my grandmother used to always say...."Shake you're money maker" and she did not mean that in a slutty kind of way.

If you don’t think marketing yourself is important, then I must tell you that you could be the best woman around – loyal, sweet, dynamic – and people wouldn’t have a clue. Marketing yourself doesn’t mean to yell and shout about yourself, that's called being conceited, and trust me, no one wants to see a snub nose bitch. So what then? Market yourself – It's all about holding yourself highly, and acting so (impeccable self-respect, NOT carelessness). There’s a difference. For example, the difference between making a mistake and “not giving a ****” and making a mistake, acknowledging it, and proceeding to move on and do better.

A high quality woman is a woman of value and a woman of value is one who values the happiness of others, who is giving, considerate, and business savvy...(like a Capricorn woman who thrives on climbing that ladder of success and making her way to the top, while still doing  her part for society, and making those around her smile.)  People will rarely perceive real value in you unless you give THEM something.

Think of what a typical low value and low quality woman looks and acts like. Usually, this kind of woman is so significance-driven.She is habitually unable to listen, to care for or to help others. Typically, this kind of woman makes you cringe because she gives the female gender a bad name. She may even frustrate you with anger because you simply can’t get a word in and let’s face it, it’s truly so difficult being around someone who doesn’t care about you at all, nonetheless irritating. A woman of low value has such a low sense of self-worth that it’s impossible for her to perceive what life is like from another angle. She’s too in to herself! It’s very much a case of ‘the empty vessel makes the most noise." Oh she squaks all right, but only for attention from others.

Here is what a high quality woman is NOT: She is not someone who is constantly sucking value from others.

2) What is your state of worth to others? 

As I stated above, a classy woman is a woman with a high sense of self-worth and who also projects herself that way. And high self-worth only comes from knowing you are worthy. If you think I’m talking about accomplishments in the traditional ‘career’ sense that this world so encourages for women, you’re wrong. This is not a true, lasting accomplishment. I’m talking about emotional fitness: a woman who can hold her own yet give her heart in the face of grave fears.

So – develop rituals: whether that be a daily practice of gratitude, A daily resolve to push a little further on your spiritual path with your spouse or your children, a daily practice of viewing life as a playground rather than a battleground and looking for the evidence to support that belief, a daily ritual of giving love rather than judgments – it’s up to you.These rituals are a way to make you actually feel great about yourself. Not just empty self-talk.

3) A high class woman rarely ever loses her cool.

There are, of course, situations in which a woman will feel and seem crazy, needs to raise her voice and get angry and that is fine. Example; I had a friend like this back in Michigan. She was a beautiful blonde but when she opened her mouth, men ran! Class turned into Trash and sad as it is, her attitude ruined her. Quite sad it was actually because it didn't have to be this way....However, the point here is not to just not lose your cool, or not to have anger, it’s about having the mindset that allows you to move forward and not damage things with people unnecessarily because of your need to feel better and significant in a moment, in a misunderstanding with someone who means a lot to you, or any other difficult situation.

This is about a confidence in yourself to be able to handle anything that happens. I know this is not easy, because sometimes, we feel very uncertain, vulnerable, lost, unloved, hurt, shocked, and overwhelmed. We all have those moments – but remember, it is what you do about it, most of the time (not some of the time) that counts. Looking sexy can make all the difference. Shop at http://www.simplydeliciouslingerie.com/ and also watch for http://www.simplylusciouslingerie.com/ in the late fall! We're all about confidence and making you feel great about yourself!

4) Market yourself with great posture!

Probably one of the most important attributes a classy woman must have is great posture. The reason posture is so important is because it affects how others perceive you a lot more than you could imagine. If a woman holds herself highly, she usually has great posture and people are drawn to this. It’s one of the quickest, fastest and best ways to market yourself and to feel better about yourself. As humans, we are all drawn to people or things that seem to be of high value, and to humans who project themselves as high value.

We want the best because it means a better experience, a better quality of life, more safety (at a primal level, mostly in our subconscious).If a woman walks around with her shoulders slumped, people subconsciously pick up on this energy! Not good...stop looking at the ground, there's no earthquake and it's not shakin...so look up and waslk with your head high and shoulders straight, back arched. When you're sitting, cross your legs to off to the side, and point your toes.

5) Show some AUTHENTICITY!

Quite contrary to popular belief, being classy and elegant isn’t about “self-control” or holding things in. It’s not about being a stoic.Always be authentic. Not many women are. To find a women these days who truly is genuine is rather difficult. You could be down about losing your job, or just life’s problems, and that is all fine – as long as you are authentic.A classy woman doesn’t fake happiness. It comes naturally, with very little effort and she is the one in the crowd that stands out when she walks into a room who has a glow about her. Why? Not because she is all about "look at me, look at me"....) Oh no, she will catch you off guard and become the bell of the ball with her elegance and charm. You can be grieving, or experiencing emotional suffering, and still be classy. All you have to do is acknowledge the pain, perhaps share your feelings with others, but still hold yourself with much grace, and of course with poise. Know your own self, and have your own identity. Never try to act like or be someone else.

Being a classy woman IS NOT sitting around drinking tea and gossiping about other women. If you or someone you know is acting in such a manner, you have bigger problems that I imagined. Get a life, and come down off your high horse. Grow some confidence too while your at it, because obviously, you certainly are LACKING IT!

However – you can only truly know, and feel, with certainty that you are worthy when you DO enough, ACCOMPLISH enough, and GIVE enough (to yourself and others) that you have little choice but to give yourself utmost respect. Aretha Franklin sang it best....R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Remember, never make some your priority when they only see you as an option!

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