Mr Right...Is He a Rare Commodity?

Sure everyone wants to meet Mr Right, BUT that won't happen until you follow a few steps, and take a good look at the big picture. Life and dating in general is not at all easy, not like it was 30 years ago. Things change, people change, and attitudes have become far worse. Men have super big egos, and they  think that they are a rare commodity, but they aren't. He’s skeptical about marriage and wants to prolong settling down-of course he does. What do I think? He's afraid of commitment. I think men are less likely to be patient and persistent with a woman and more likely to find a deal breaker early and quickly move on to the next.Today, men think that traditional dating and courting is a waste of time.  Much like in the real world, relationships take time and can be undone in a few wrongly calculated moves.

 So you want to find someone that will give you that special feeling? With that being said ladies, here is how to get on the right track to find your Mr Right; It all starts with YOU!

  1. Get a life. That's right, you heard me....GET A LIFE! The most important thing is to be Ms. Right yourself. Finding the right man is not going to change you into a better person than you already are. If you are lazy and self-centered, finding a generous hard working fellow is not going to transform you. If you are boring and a one-dimensional person, finding an intellectually challenging man is not going to change who you are. Learn how to be interesting, kind, caring, and unselfish. Model yourself after women you admire. Work hard at changing your character defects. Become more well rounded. Complete your education. Get yourself a hobby. Volunteer and expose yourself to people who are less-fortunate than you are. Learn some humility by volunteering to serve others. So many people need our help! Find a charity or organization and lend a hand. My personal favorite; find a women's shelter in your area and call them and ask if you can donate women's business attire from your closet that you no longer wear. They need your help! A lot of us should do this next one; Take a listening class. We talk, talk talk, but do we really listen? That is imperative in a relationship as is communicating in general. Get some counseling if you need to learn to be assertive or how to share your feelings. If you have some childhood traumas deal with them now, with someone who can give you professional help. Learn to be happy with yourself, first. No man, no matter how right is going to make you happy. You will only be happy in your new relationship if you are happy inside first.

 2. Evaluate your physical attractiveness. Not everyone is Ms. America. Nobody looks like the models in magazines. We aren't airbrushed to perfection. But we each do have something going for us though. Find out what your best feature is and accentuate it. Wear clothes that flatter your figure. Do not try to be a size 6 if you are really a size 12. Accept yourself for who you are, but don’t use that as an excuse to let yourself go either. Some men like a woman with a little meat on her bones, but no one wants a slob. Big can be beautiful if you manage things correctly. If you are overweight, consult your doctor and find out what is healthy for a woman your size. Rather than living up to some super-model or stereotype of femininity you should aim to be all you can.

3 . Look in places where you would expect to find someone with the qualities you value. Is he someone that you would consider bringing home to meet the family? If not, you may want to re-think your moves and choices. If you want someone who cares, look at the local soup kitchen and see who is volunteering on Saturday afternoons. If you want someone who is good with kids, look for a coach or a teacher or a mentor. If you want a generous guy, ask yourself: Who in your crowd has a generous spirit? Who shares his Pepsi with you without your asking? Who gives you the seat on the bus? Who goes out of his way for his grandmother or aunt? Who sacrifices his day off to work for Habitat for Humanity? Who works Sundays at the homeless shelter? Who volunteers at the Children’s Hospital as a clown? Who shares freely about himself and his needs, ideas, hopes and dreams? Who doesn’t care if his generosity is noticed or even appreciated? This is the type of man to look for.

  4. Please do remember that we are all human beings, so don't go looking for someone perfect. You'll be looking for a very long time! What do I mean by this? Don't set the bar so high...No one is going to be everything you have ever dreamed of. Give the guy a break. You already know that you are not Ms. Perfect, and honey, if you think you are...we have even bigger problems here. Listen, he will make mistakes just as you do, so go with the flow. Relax a little and don’t be too picky. Allow for human frailty. Look beyond physical attractiveness. You don’t want a slob any more than he does, but he doesn’t have to be Mr. Hunk either.

5. Be patient silly girl! Rome was not built in a day. It may take some time to discover what appeals to you and why. You may make a few friends, and even break a heart or two. You may get hurt. Keep at it. There are good men out there. You simply need to know where to look!

 Many men want the grand prize, the bulls-eye, but guess what...there is no such thing. Sometimes what you see is not what you get! There is a man out there for you. Give it time, and don't push it. Sit back and wait....it will happen when it is supposed to!

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Sexual Chemistry and Dating

Man meets woman and the chemistry is explosive. Sound familiar? You know the routine....their eyes lock, their heartbeats race, everyone else in the room just melts away. But far from being some weird, mystical force, sexual attraction is actually quite prosaic.It's the product of millions of years of evolution all focused on one idea: successfully passing your genes on to the next generation. And the whole dating scene is really just people assessing the reproductive potential of prospective mates. Women want men with good genes to pass on to their babies and a caring mate who will protect and feed the family.

1) Flaunt your fragrance...don't over do it!
Our noses are subtly attuned to the smells of potential mates, and our natural body odours carry powerful messages of attraction. So don't be afraid of your own fragrance. All the same, don't throw out the deodorant and run off to the gym to intensify your natural funk, either: weak odours are more attractive than strong ones, and many odour molecules only have a very brief lifespan before they oxidise and become decidedly unattractive.

Although women are many times more sensitive, both sexes are attuned to the aromas of love.

2) Fitness...try to maximize it
Both women and men are genetically hardwired to look for physically attractive partners. Why? Physical cues are an instant and relatively accurate method of assessing the quality of a potential partner's genes, health and reproductive status. Some aspects of attraction are universal, so if you've got the goods, flaunt them, and if you don't, work on disguising the fact. It's a well-known phenomenon that, for any of us, symmetry equals beauty, especially when it comes to faces. So gents, keep those sideburns trimmed with a setsquare and spirit level if necessary.Men are on the prowl for good reproductive potential. This means that for the ladies, the appearance of youth and a clear complexion are good indicators of fertility, and so are healthy curves. A modest waist-to-hip ratio - specifically, a waist about 70 per cent the width of a woman's hips - is a predictor of youth and good health. Find a treadmill and and use it. Dance to a video, or take a bike ride. Tone muscles and good health contribute to how your body reacts to health and immunities. Take vitamins also, we are getting older and we need all the help our bodies can get to keep our youthful ways.

3) Tune in to natural rhythms
In agreement with conventional wisdom, researchers have found that men are pretty much attracted to the same things all the time. However, the lads need to understand that what turns a woman on can vary significantly, depending at what stage she is in her menstrual cycle. Women ovulate only once a month, so their bodies are tuned to be most receptive to the signs of potential mates - sexy faces, shapely bodies and alluring odours - at the time when they're most likely to fall pregnant.At this time, women tend to take more care with their appearance.

4) Socially lubricate
Science backs up the common perception that alcohol does tend to make things happen that otherwise might not. And this applies for both sexes. Did you know that alcohol disrupts frontal lobe functioning, which is the seat of inhibitions. But be wary of flirting when drunk, as your judgement could be slightly off kilter. I'd tend to say that the 'beer goggles' effect, in which people in a pub or bar seem to get more attractive as time wears on, is well documented.' Studies on this particular group have found definitively that alcohol increases the chances of engaging in casual sex, and of having sex outside a long-term relationship. So although becoming inebriated is a scientifically proven method of improving your chances of coupling, it comes with its own considerable pitfalls.

5) Bring on the laughs
Cracking a carefully timed and well-mannered joke is a great way to show off your intelligence and social skills. Both sexes are attracted to humour in potential partners, but in opposite ways. Research shows that women tend to appreciate men with a high-quality sense of humour, while men are more concerned with finding a partner who laughs at their jokes.One theory advances the idea that humour gives clues to the quality of an individuals genes by hinting at the number of genetic mutations a person is carrying. The theory proposes that people with fewer mutations have better genes and produce higher-quality humour.

6) Talk with your body
Guys, you can say a lot to a girl from across the room without even talking to - or looking at - her. Research indicates women look for traits in men that indicate that they can provide well for them. This includes high social status, intelligence and conspicuous wealth. And there are a number of ways of demonstrating these attributes without saying a word. Body language is a great way to communicate. It's sexy and sensual, try it if you don't already.

7) Get dolled up!
It might seem superficial, but it's effective. Being well groomed and looking presentable can radically alter how people respond to you, especially if you're a woman. Recent studies that examine the effects of cosmetics use on social perceptions of women routinely find that observers of both sexes find the same woman looks healthier and more confident when seen wearing make-up than without. Eye make-up and foundation seem to be the most effective in improving observers' attractiveness ratings. The scientific reasons for the effectiveness of cosmetics are unconfirmed, but the likelihood is that they allow women to even out skin tone, cover up blemishes and sculpt more symmetrical faces. Personally, I find it more natural and inviting for a man to desire a woman who is dressed simple and wears very little make up. Next time you decide to find a new mate and wonder what to look for, sit down and do the math.....

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