Thursday, October 6, 2011

mEn...STrOng as a MuLe aNd TwIcE aS StUbBorN...

Ladies, do you know a man, or are you interested in a man who repeatedly tries to push you away and gives you ludicrous reasons that really make no sense at all?  If so, this is the article for you to read. Maybe he's insecure, or just hurt from previous relationships? Our past has a way of often keeping us in our past no matter how hard we try to push forward. Here are some tips of things you can do to try to without him thinking that you're only trying to "woo" him and show him that you aren't like other women. Whether he wishes to drop his wall long enough to see you waiving the "white flag" is up to him. No amount of talking you can do will change him, so don't even try, it must come from within. Some men change their ways and some just appear to be destin to be a train wreck! He might be stubborn as a mule, but inside there is a good man who needs to be reminded that woman are not all evil.

Don't give up...but don't give in all that easily either. When you make yourself too attentive to his needs, you'll find sooner than later that it is "you" that is going to get the short end of the stick. Although I am in no way saying a relationship like this is not possible, I'm stating that if you meet a man like this sometimes the best thing to do is to let him go. Here are a few tips for you to read up on. Quite important, so take the time to read this;

Tip#1: Don't ever ever ever give a man more than he gives you. This is what I would call a LOSING BATTLE! Here's the 4-1-1; Love, and inspiring a man to fall in love with you forever, is all about you being able to receive love. Sure most of us only know how to give. We give for lots of reasons - because we're taught that's the way to get to a man's heart (it isn't) because we see other women do it, and because deep down, it feels uncomfortable and scary to be vulnerable enough to really get what love is actually? What do I mean by this? When you shower him with affection, attention, dinners, gifts, and always go out of your way, it makes him think of you as a mother or a friend instead of inspiring his emotional desire for you. Knock that shit off. Make him come to you. He doesn't need a road map to your door, if he cares about you enough, he'll get there all by himself. He's a big boy.

Tip#2: Do NOT give away exclusivity if he hasn't yet committed... Mama didn't raise no FOOL!
Here's how it works ladies, and this is in all reality...We become totally, emotionally invested in a man when we're exclusive with him because he has all our time and attention. There's no way we can stop wondering about where the relationship is going? Right?  But the more we think about it and talk about it, the more we push a man away. In this case, we are damned if we do, and damned if we don't. It's like that Katy Perry song, "Hot & Cold" they (and when I say they, I am referring to "MEN") don't know what the hell they want. Grow up boys! Nice women like us are really hard to come by, so if you're looking for a way to really throw a monkey wrench in this it's working! The problem with most men is that they let the wrong people into their lives, and then they tend to push the "right" people out, this including potential lovers or mates. Why? They are afraid to get hurt, again?

When you can think of it in these terms, it's easier to keep your options open and keep your personal power in the relationship. Rather than talking about the relationship or threatening him with ultimatums, which you NEVER EVER EVER want to do....you can continue to keep your options open by dating other men. This way, you keep your class, your power, your boundaries, and he has to work to get you, as he very well should, especially if he is acting like a jerk.

Tip#3: Don't go out of your way, if he is acting weird and distant!
Yes, this sounds unfair, and yet, who pays is often the difference in his mind between friends hanging out together and a “date.” If you can dish it out he'll take it...but what about when they tables are turned? Perhaps he feels threatened or insecure? Is that your problem? How can you help him if he won't let you? Why do men shut women out? Overfunctioning is doing more than your fair share and stepping up to rescue a man because you know you can do a better job. It's arriving from your masculine energy. It feels aggressive and forward to a man. And it's totally unattractive to him. Men just don't operate on the same juice that women do. They are not built with the same type of defensive mechanism we are, theres is far worse!

Tip#4 Make him apologize! No If's and's or But's about it!
I'm sorry guys but there is no excuse for your childish behavior, and this is exactly what it is, you acting like an immature little boy....especially when a woman is seriously trying to do all that she can to get to know you. We all have a wall built up around us that we don't wish to talk about, we've all experienced some sort of pain at least once in our life, but isn't part of getting to know someone sharing with them intimate details of your life that make you feel vulnerable? Is this easy to do? Hell no it's not. Do you really want to chase the right woman away because you think she'll only turn out to be like all of the other "wrong" ones? Nahhh, it's time to suck it up and realize that you are being an ass and treating a woman with much disrespect. Yes men can be pig-headed and stubborn, so can we...I am the first to admit it, but I am also the first to admit when I am wrong and say "I'm Sorry!" Rome wasn't built over night, relationships aren't easy...if there were we'd all be in one right now, wouldn't we?

Alas, enough of the cold shoulder. I still don't know what I was waiting for...and my time was running wild, a million dead-end streets, every time I thought I'd got it made, it seemed the taste was not so sweet, so I turned myself to face me, but I've never caught a glimpse.... time may change me....but I can't trace time.

Well spoken lyrics from David Bowie, for those men who feel that they have been running in circles, that they don't deserve true love, and I mean real true love, not some puppy love or a controlled type of love, but "physical real love" I say to you what I have said to my readers and I will preach to you what my grandmother used to always preach to me; God puts certain people in our lives for a reason, you may not know who, or why it is that they are coming your way, but try to accept it, even if it's only meant to be as a friendship. We know how head strong a man can be, I'm just saying...try.





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