Relationships = Communication + Trust

Sometimes all women want is to feel loved... Sometimes all we really need is knowing that the man that our world revolves around cares, really genuinely cares. Whether it be showing affection, love or romance, we yearn for it. Some men just don't get it, and others have no problem showing affection a million ways. Why is that?

A mans character they say is determined by who he is and how he acts. Compassion, integrity, loyalty, love, trust...these are all attributes that your man should hold with the highest regards. I don't mean in the boardroom...I also mean in the bedroom. What makes her truly happy? What does she like? Why does she care so much for you? Women I tend to believe are much more emotional than men and our feelings can get picked apart. Our guy may not even know that we are feeling like this.

I am not saying that a woman should be placed on a pedestal nonetheless, he should realize that if he continues to simply appease you just to make you happy, this may not be what you had hoped for in a long term relationship. We should not have to tell our fella what to do, or when to call, or how to 'wine and dine' us. We don't need a 5 Star Restaurant to win our heart. A burnt hot dog on the grill would be sufficient with me if he took the time to cook it for me. How difficult is it though for men to open up and let that wall down? Believe it or not is gets pretty difficult.

We act as if women are the only ones that could have been hurt in a past relationship, nevertheless, when it happens to men, the react a bit differently so to speak. Relationships are not built overnight and in most cases it's not love at first sight. In fact, sometimes the couple didn't even like one another when they first met. Then there are those who meet and get that feeling,...that 'vibe' if you will that there is a definite amount of chemistry and that my friend is all that one needs. Without chemistry you have no chance. With it, you have the world at your feet and the tools to make take this relationship to the next level. Relationships are 50/50. If you are in one that is a 70/30 or an 80/20 you need to look ahead at the BIG picture sista! You two need to communicate.

Sex (my grandmother used to always say) is the easy part...but relationships should not just be built on sex alone. That is truly not enough. Communication and trust are what bond a relationship like glue. Take time to talk to your partner/mate/lover/boyfriend/or your husband. Work on goals where you set a few nights a week aside just for the two of you and then designate other days or evenings to do things with friends, or to work responsibilities. For the gals, select a piece of sexy lingerie so that when you do have that one or two special nights during the week you give him something to remember. Men long for more when they don't have it...so with that in mind, as Madonna would say get sensual and "Express Yourself!"

Marriage, Relationship and the Mistress....

Why do relationships fail? What is it in a marriage that makes your spouse cheat? Do they fall out of love, is it boredom, do needs more zest and spice in their life? Are they feeling old and tired of being with the same woman for several years? Mid-life crisis...or did a younger woman catch their eye? When men cheat, they do it for a variety of reasons, and most often they don't think that they'll get caught...in fact some men are very good at it and never get caught. For the most part, men that cheat are generally the ones that say that they are happy with their wife. Pardon me, but if you were happy you wouldn't be sharing your penis with another woman!

Most men don't realize how good they have it until it's too late and they get caught, then again some are so good that they will NEVER get caught. Being the other woman has it's perks, or so they may think, but later on the other woman may get bored and tired of always coming second. They get empty promises and little respect. Duhhh? Of course you do, you're the other woman. Any woman reading this article that has ever been cheated on by her husband will have steam coming out of her ears right now. It's painful and the trust can never heal your heart. Many will tell you that it does, but those of you who say this are the ones that sit with that uneasy feeling (you know the one) in your gut when he calls to say he has a late meeting, or that they guys are going out to celebrate someones promotion, or it's a coworkers birthday and we're taking him out for drinks....sound familiar?

Men who cheat really must think that they have life by the balls? They make their mistresses a lot of promises...why? To keep the romance going, to keep her from getting too close to the home front and causing chaos with his personal life. Many men that I know told me that they did it because they had far too much (financially) at stake to lose should they up and leave their wives. Isn't that just peachy to know that while your slaving in the kitchen to get dinner ready, preparing to host dinner and cocktail parties, and running kids all over timbuku, that he's out getting naked with someone else because it would cost him too much to leave you? It's sad, but oh so typical. What is worse is the women that actually do know that their husbands are sleeping with someone else but they stay and remain quiet because she can't make it without him financially, or doesn't want to lose her material possessions. Guess what sister? You've already just sold your soul to the devil.

Soooo, for those of you whom don't know the true definition of a mistress?

Mistress: A mysterious sexy woman that a married man sees in secret to have a romantic and sexual relationship with. This is the definition of a mistress. There is good sex, hotel room adventures, late nights, seductive phone calls, exciting secret dates, gifts and the thrill of doing something bad.

But is being a mistress as glamorous as it seems? Those who do it will tell you YES, but do you want my opinion? Buckle your seat belts...because what I have to say is not pretty.They are ruthless, have low self-esteem, and lack much confidence. If they had any morals whatsoever, they would not at all be sleeping with someone who was already "spoken for" shall we say. Home wreckers would be an understatement. 9 times out of 10 having a mistress turns out to be convenient. (for him)....but for you, it will lead to heartache if you develop feelings.

  Being a mistress has its exciting moments and these are the moments that convince women to become a mistress in the first place. In the beginning, the mistress holds all the power. She is the one who has the married man under a love spell and she gets all his attention and time that he should be spending with his wife. She is the one he fantasizes about when he is with his wife and the one he misses. He urges for her company and longs to hear her voice. The mistress is the woman a married man makes first priority and will shower her with gifts to keep her happy. This all sounds fun and good, but it is very short lived and eventually, the light goes on and shines on the truth of what the life of a mistress really is and eventually becomes after the sexy stage is over.

 Relationships that start off in deception usually always end in deception! My grandmother used to always say "Once a cheater, Always a cheater!"  When a woman gets involved with a married man, she turns a blind eye to the fact that he is a cheater and an unreliable partner. She sees only what she wants to see and believes only what she wants to believe. She acknowledges the fact that he is cheating on his wife with her, but refuses to see that she too is a victim of his selfish behavior- choosing to make herself his victim. Men rarely leave their wives and family for their mistresses, which means that they string their mistresses along, having them believe that one day they will both be together with no more hiding around. Mistresses hang on to this fantasy, believing that their married lover truly loves them and will eventually be with them and this begins a long journey of emotional pain, emptiness and endless waiting.

Listen, if you are someones mistress, you are pathetic, and if you are reading this blog post, get your head out of the sand and get a real life.. starting NOW!

Face the truth. Statistically, it is incredibly rare that a married man will leave his wife for the other woman. In the rarest occasions that this does occur, an overwhelming majority of the resulting marriages to a mistress end, usually because of trust issues. Going into the relationship with zero expectations of a lasting, rewarding relationship or marriage is the first step for the other woman to gain empowerment and, ultimately, recover from the emotional damage wrought by extramarital affairs.

What should you do? Develop outside interests. The road to healing begins by making sure that the other woman has interests outside of the married man. This is effective on two fronts: while the other activities help distract the mistress from fixating on the married man, it is also an opportunity to meet available men who may be able to provide a healthier relationship. Be sure that the outside interest is conducive to a healthy lifestyle, so as not to deepen issues that may lead to extramarital affairs, because in the end, you go home to an empty quiet house and he,..well he... has a beautiful family and the perfect life that you don't fit into the equation, and you NEVER will, no matter how many times you try. Don't you think you deserve better?

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Relationships and Baggage

If I've said it once I've said it a million times...Communication in any relationship is KEY so make sure when you enter into a new relationship you build your foundation on trust, something some men and women know nothing about. Life is not a game, although there are learning curves for those of you riding the short bus...Pay attention, it's not that difficult. First things first...listen to your mate, pay attention to what he or she is saying, and think before you respond. Whatever you do, now is not the time to put your foot in your mouth. Remember that you are not perfect so you can't possibly expect your mate to be.

Let's get right to the point here shall we? Let's talk about "baggage. All of us carry baggage with us from past relationships. It's a fact of life. Once we accept this fact then we can start doing something about letting go of the baggage and moving on. I don't think that it is possible to completely eliminate the baggage from past relationships, and to be honest I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to try to completely eliminate it. We learn from our past, including our mistakes, some would even argue that we learn more from our mistakes than from our successes. Admit it and like it or not, we all do make mistakes.

Every experience in life, whether good or bad, has a lesson for us to learn. If we approach life with this philosophy then it makes the hard times a little easier to bare and the good times even sweeter. When we experience negativity in a relationship, then we need to acknowledge what has happened. Even though we may have overcome an obstacle in a relationship, we will often continue to carry the scars. All we can do is to learn from the experience and then try to let it go, and if you can't you need to make some changes.

We need to make an effort not to let past negative experiences influence or affect our current relationships,..if you do it's pointless, nevertheless, can be damaging to say the least. It's just not fair to put that baggage on our new friends or partners. We all have it, so deal with it. There will often be a similarity in people's personalities, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they are going to treat you as your previous partner treated you. It is unfair to you and your new partner to assume that they will be like your old relationship.

Signs of emotional baggage:

1. Projection : This happens when people have self-doubt.  These feelings can  snowball into an assumption that someone is prejudging you and then you will become defensive. Being defensive all of the time especially when starting a relationship, can be buzz kill.
2. Paranoia : One of the most important rules to sustain a relationship is that you got to have trust. Without trust you will make your partner feel as if he or she is up to something.  Paranoia can also make you appear to be clingy and needy. There is nothing wrong about being a little cautious especially after being hurt, just make sure that your suspicions are legitimate and control your emotional fears. STOP! Don't let this take control. My grandmother always said before you can learn to love again one first must open their heart and allow it to feel.
3. Emotional walls : Holding back on your true feelings and recreating past negative feelings in yourself can make a relationship become stagnant. If you have trust than you will feel comfortable exposing your true self,  that way there is no misunderstanding about who you are what you are about.
4. Lack of commitment : If you are not ready to be in a monogamist relationship than so be it. But, if you are in the habit of sabotaging relationships out of fear and you never allow it to blossom, then you are letting your past dictate your future. Trust me on this one, I was the 'queen of sabotage.' You will always be wondering around in the land of "single people"  if you do not learn how to lay all of you cards on the table and start to trust. Deal with the baggage. Life is too short to spend it alone, so help one another unpack!



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What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?

There is no love doctor that can heal you after a love loss....Someone once said that people don't die of a broken heart, I beg to differ. I've seen family and neighbors that were couples that grew old together and when one spouse/partner passed away, the other one followed not to long after. They say "they died from a broken heart" Love is a very power tool and I believe that to be true. When you're suffering from one, it sure doesn't feel that way...at least initially. These suggestions may help you navigate the painfully troubled waters of a relationship that has ended and help you heal a broken heart. Have you ever had a broken heart? If so, then you know how it feels.

So how do you mend a broken heart? Well, here's some good advice;

Breathe. All you can do is survive this first and difficult day. Take one day at a time. Give yourself permission to mourn. Call in sick at work, sleep all day, eat too much ice cream, sob.

2

Congratulate yourself for being human: It is only when you open yourself to love that your heart can break. Develop and repeat a helpful mantra to get you through the initial shock and pain, such as "This too shall pass" or "I will survive."

3

Reach out to a close friend or family member. It helps to share your thoughts with others. Watch a movie to distract yourself. Choose a comedy that has cheered you up in the past. Or watch a movie that's guaranteed to make you sob--it may surprise you how good that feels

• Week 1: Force yourself to get out of the house, even if you are feeling crappy. Take yourself out for a cup of coffee or go on a long walk. Get some fresh air! Express your emotions in a way that comes naturally. Write in a journal, paint, sculpt or play music. Do daily cardiovascular exercise--the endorphins will give your spirits an immediate lift. Resist the urge to call your ex. Instead, write a letter. Don't mail it. Go out of town for the weekend to distance yourself from the temptation to call your ex. Visit an old friend or go back home to your roots. A change of environment does wonders for the spirit. Put everything that reminds you of your ex in a box and seal it. Throw it away, donate it to charity or ask a friend to hold on to it indefinitely.
• 2
  Week 2: Surround yourself with friends, they'll make you smile and laugh and laughter is so good for the soul! This may mean reaching out to people you fell out of touch with during the relationship. Make lists to help you regain your confidence and identity: a list of your friends, of things you like, of what you want to accomplish in the next decade. Spoil yourself: Get a new hairstyle, have a spa day or go shopping. Resist the urge to call your ex.
• 3
  Week 3: Assess the experience. Have you learned anything about yourself? Does the experience make you more empathetic to others who've suffered a hardship? Begin an activity that will fill your time, distract your mind and rebuild your confidence. Train for a marathon, take up yoga or learn a new language. Resist the urge to call your ex. Volunteer your time at a local homeless shelter, soup kitchen or tutoring center. It will take your mind off your own woes and keep your suffering in perspective.
• 4
  Week 4: Continue regular socializing and exercising. This works!!! While socializing, though, make sure you don't depend on alcohol or drugs to dull the pain. Call your ex if you feel it would be helpful. Resist if you merely want to say hurtful things. Consider dating other people, but be wary of rebound relationships. Understand that you will need to experience and process sadness, anger, guilt and fear to fully heal. Burying or ignoring these emotions will thwart the healing process. Write, cry, share the feelings with friends.

Months 3 to 6

• 1
  Force yourself to go on dates. You'll be surprised to discover that your heart can still flutter over someone. It's part of the healing process.
• 2
  Consult a psychiatrist if you are experiencing symptoms of depression, such as lack of appetite, insomnia or too much sleeping, low self-esteem, and an inability to concentrate or carry out routine tasks. Ask a friend or physician to recommend one who is experienced in treating depression.
• 3
  Remember that healing is a process that takes time. Expect waves of sadness, anger, guilt or fear even after you think you are over it. Give your heart time to heal.

One year and beyond

• 1
  Compartmentalize the experience in your memory: "My heart was broken once. It really hurt and I'm glad it's over."
• 2
  Reach out to your ex if you want to re-establish a friendship. Do not harbor secret ambitions of winning him or her back. You'll only set yourself up for another heartbreak.




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Ladies, It's Time to Put Your Foot Down!

In our daily life, our every day routine.....we look for ways to look sassy, elusive, appealing and sexy! Whether it's in the privacy our your own home or if you strut yourself on a runway....your appearance tells a story.....your lingerie begins Chapter 1. Why do we desire to look and feel so pretty, and seductive? Men like it...it's a turn on and lingerie is what we use to reel them in. Wanna catch a nice fish.....give him the right bait.

First and foremost, in the eyes of men, they feel the main reason why women love to wear sexy lingerie is to attract and tempt them so as to enjoy a romantic night. OK, I'm not going to deny that's one reason. As a woman,.... who doesn’t want to be attractive, sexy and charming as well as elegant before her man? What is more, as a man, he also wants to enjoy a romantic night with his loved one. It only takes one piece of sexy lingerie.....that's what plays the role that will pave your way to the bedroom. Therefore, the sexy lingerie is not only the tempting method of women, but also the potential need of men. Give them a taste, a single drop, and they'll want the whole bottle. Let the tantalizing begin.....

Besides, some people say the reason why women wear sexy lingerie's is to experience the man taking it off of them. Yes, it is probably the best reason.... A romantic night for lovers can not stay away with making love. However, making love needs a kind of prelude, right? Then, a type of sexy lingerie can be a perfect prelude. Please imagine this picture: in the evening, when darkness has fallen, you two in a room with the dim light and you wear a suit of sexy lingerie. That single most vision is going to be remembered....you're sex appeal is going to be remarkable if you have that particular right piece on,....the one that makes you stand out and glow! He'll literally be undressing you already with his eyes.

However, the most important reason in terms of women is that they can gain confidence wearing sexy lingerie. I say this ALL the time....you have to feel good about yourself on the inside first........same goes for your attire....if your bra and panties match and make you look alluring, feel intriguing, and you are seductive without even trying.....he'll fall to his knees! Actually, sexy lingerie is a perfect method to express women’s  figure, whatever that figure size or shape may be.......sexiness, charm, elegance as well as grace are the secret recipe! Women will depend on some fashionable clothes and some small ornaments to express themselves and gain the confidence. However, in the romantic night..... they just want to be sexy and confident...they want to be that "vision" that cannot be erased from his mind.

At Simply Delicious Lingerie, we take pride in offering you the best sellers, the newest arrivals and special pieces that will rock his world! He may think he is in control everywhere else, but this time you show him that you are the boss in the bedroom tonight! Put your foot down.....take control, and seduce him not only with your mind, but your lingerie!

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