Dating... Is Age Just a Number?

I’ve dated men a few years younger than me, and when I say a few I'm talking anywhere between 2 and 12 years younger, and then I have dated men much older than me, and when I say older I am talking 10-15 years older than me. Where many women tend to lie about their age, I don't. It is what it is and I'm 48. I'm happy with my looks and who I am and proud of how I look in comparison to many other woman my age that haven't aged quite so well. I found no reason to hide it from my dates or even my partners that I was older or younger than them.

 What I’ve found is that while relationships can be affected by age, they are more so sustained by maturity, similar interests, and common values, which doesn’t always require a close birth dates. Age is only just a number, but why do so many people frown upon it? Are they embarrassed by it, or shamed of what their friends and family may think? Guess what Mr or Ms Coward...you have to live for YOU. At the end of the date or a long weekend getaway when you exit the airport to head back home to your so called 'normal life' you may be walking away from the best thing that has ever happened to you all because you didn't want to tell others about the man/woman you were seeing due to age. Are you for real? If this is the case, you don't deserve this type of true happiness.

That being said, it is important for two individuals,(setting any age difference aside) to want the same thing from a relationship. Often, if there are differences, people cite it as a conflict due to age, but in all reality, really it has more to do with what stage you’re at in life, and what type of relationship you feel would be best for you right now and in the near future. My thoughts were always that chemistry although being quite important was a big key ingredient to the dating pie, but the mentality level of each individual had to connect along the lines somewhere as well. Within each culture are stereotypes associated to dating someone of significant age difference. Whether you are the younger or older one in the situation, some might thing that you will be looked upon in a certain light and judged; more so by those who are either speculative of the relationship or envious of the dynamic. I say that is all hogwash. No one seems to criticize the athletes or celebrities when they date or marry 20 years older or younger.

It has become more socially commonplace to hear people say that age is just a number; and while in theory that may hold true, are these people silently passing judgment behind closed doors and bashing the hell out of those who do it. Why? Ignorance I suppose.  At the end of the day isn't it really about how you feel for one another that really matters most?

Hey folks, newsflash; We all bring different gifts to the table. I got married and started my family in my 20′s, it was said by many family members and friends to have been a train wreck. If that is what it was I am happy to have proved them all wrong and state that my 'train wreck' lasted 15 years, and during those years we had two kids and a really good marriage for the most part. Some people said that until I’d learned some of the lessons of life I needed to get under my belt before I could be a healthy partner. (That doesn’t mean that every girl in her 20′s is a train wreck, nor does it mean that at a young age you cannot be wise enough to make the right choices.) I loathe people who talk behind your back one minute about your relationship or marriage and the next they are your best friend.

 Life is a precious gift. Mistakes are most often easy to fix. Thoughout life we grow as a person and we learn what makes each of us happy. I have friends who have been searching for that one right man forever and now they are in their late 30s and mid 40s and never have been married. I have friends who got hitched at a certain age because they were “supposed to.” I also have friends who are getting divorces from their “supposed to” spouses. I know friends who are happily married since their early 20′s and happy “never married” in their 40′s and 50′s.

You see, life is not about finding the perfect man or woman or even the perfect age in which to do the sometimes crazy things that we do. Life is there to teach us that it's OK to make mistakes and learn from them. Sure I made some mistakes in life and especially in my marriage, nonetheless, those mistakes and taking someone for granted taught me that you have to communicate more and show that person how much you care day in and day out. I'm not talking about showering them with flowers and chocolates everyday. A smile or a soft hand gently stroking your face to see you smile is a delight. To have a man look in your eyes and tell you that you are beautiful or that he wants you is not only intriguing rather extraordinary. It is the simple things that most women cherish.

When I date, I don’t target men older or younger than me. I simply enjoy people as people, and whatever age they are—they are. I’ve dated older men that act like toddlers at times. And I’ve dated younger men that, looks aside, could fool anyone into thinking they were in their 40s. There really hasn’t been a solid pattern of behavior with the older men I’ve dated or the younger ones. I will say that the ones that I’ve kept around have similar attitudes about life, vast ambitions, and powerful wisdom to share. Regardless of their ages, I actually have learned a thing or two about life from each of these people along the way that I spent time getting to know.

With all of this being said, I still have a dark cloud hanging over me and that cloud is called 'time.' It seems as if there are days, or weeks where time hangs around taunting me and teasing me and each day that slips by makes me wonder if I am to ever meet a man that I can share common ground with and be compatible with.  I stopped worrying about what others thought years ago. I intend to be happy and live for me. The hell with what other people think. If they are so concerned about you and your well being let them pay your bills and your rent. See, it's OK for friends and family to try to interfere when you do something like date a much younger or older guy, but where the hell are they when you really need them? Point made and might I make a suggestion to those who do this; keep your mouth shut and your not needed opinions to yourself.

Here is what I have learned;
Listen to your mind but follow your heart.You can't discount your feelings, even if it is separated by an age barrier. If you two share a mutual admiration for one another, then I suggest to act on it. Try to move past the whispers all around, it’s just static and a bunch of hypocrites that have nothing better to do with their lives but talk about your. As long as you and your partner are in a healthy and happy relationship, and are on the same page, that should be all that matters. End of story.

Why Older Women Date Younger Men?

Some call dating the older women seeing a cougar, and quite frankly women love it. There is something about it that is exciting and erotic. Something that gets the blood flowing, the heart beating faster and the energy off the charts.While relationships involving older men and younger women have existed for generations, the phenomenon of older women dating younger men is becoming increasingly popular. It has been a longstanding tradition for successful businessmen to woo much younger women but as women are becoming more and more successful in the business world, they too are beginning to enter into relationships with much younger men. Cougar dating is one of the most recent trends that lots of individuals are acquiring involved with right now. If you consider your self as one of these folks who want to get a date with a cougar soon, then you must gather lots of details about it as soon as you can. In relation to that, here are a number of cougar dating tips that you should take note of, which will guide you in obtaining older girls who are interested in guys like you, as properly as impress them.

 Whether they view it is a sign of stature to be able to attract a much younger man or whether they simply find themselves more compatible with younger men there is an increasing trend of older women becoming involved in relationships with younger men. Although, these situations can work out quite nicely there are some factors to consider. When dating a younger man, the women should consider the maturity level of her partner, the intentions of her partner and the opinions of others.

The question of maturity is often linked to the situation where an older woman is dating a younger man. Women are usually perceived as being more mature than their male counterparts of equal age so it stands to reason that a younger man would likely be significantly less mature than the older woman. Depending on the ages involved though this may not be critical. While a man in his twenties or even thirties may still have quite a bit of maturing left to do a man in his fifties may not have this issue to deal with. For this reason, in my opinion, it is not only the age difference but also the current ages of the partners that factors into the equation. A twenty year age gap may not be significant in terms of maturity levels when the man is fifty and the woman is seventy but a twenty year age gap where the woman is forty and the man is twenty may cause significant problems. At these ages, it is likely that the woman is already focused on her career while the man is either still in school and possibly even unsure of his future plans. For this reason, the couple may not have enough in common to make the relationship work.

Although the intentions of your partner are important in any relationship, they are extremely important in a situation where an older woman is dating a younger man. Women, in particular are likely to be flattered by the attention of a younger man and make themselves susceptible to potential scams by unscrupulous partners. Giving Compliments – Telling your cougar date how good she looks with her dress is 1 of the methods to score some points. Giving compliments is one successful technique to impress your cougar date. Nonetheless, do not overdo it, and it should be as honest as doable. If you are going to tell her compliments all throughout your date, then she will feel that you are not becoming truthful.

As women grow older and begin to feel as though they are losing their appeal, they may put themselves at the risk of being duped by a younger man. A woman’s nurturing instinct puts her further at risk for this type of scam because she is likely to pity a younger man who seems to be struggling to get his career or business started. One common scenario is for a younger man to enter into a relationship with an older woman and convince her to lend him money for education, his career or some other reason and then leave her. Although, this is not always the case, it is important for an older woman in a relationship with a younger man to be aware of this possibility. 

 It is inevitable that family will have opinions about your relationships but they are especially likely to be opinionated when there is a significant age gap between the partners. While their concerns are natural, it is important to not let them influence your decision if you have already carefully weighed the situation and feel confident that you have made the correct decision. When your family members become vocal about your relationship, it is important to listen to their opinions objectively but to trust your own judgment. They may point out something that you haven’t considered and if this happens you should do your own analysis on the situation instead of allowing them to influence your opinion. 

Women who are involved in relationships with younger men face a unique set of challenges. Since it is a relatively new idea for older women to be involved with younger men, there is not a long-standing tradition regarding these relationships. Women in these types of relationships need to be cautious of their partner’s intentions and leery of his maturity levels while trying to maintain true to their own feelings. These tips will help women to realize whether or not her relationship with a younger man is feasible. Some cases are those of the cougar dating the younger man in a sugar daddy/ sugar baby/ sugar mama relationship. If this is the case, the woman and the man knows the rules and they work out their NSA relationship accordingly. Family need not know as this is a private affair.

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Why do men chase "Cougars?"

Most often we have to wonder....Why do men chase Cougars? If you're familiar with the movie "The Graduate", where a young Dustin Hoffman has an affair with the older and mature Mrs. Robinson, you may have a small grasp of why younger men sometimes like older women. Come on now, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to connect the dots on this puzzle. Here in America, it's rare but not uncommon for a younger man to be with an older woman. It's appealing, its seductive but most of all it is also alluring. So what is it that an older woman seems to have verse a younger gal? A mature woman provides several attractive qualities.

The allure comes in several forms:
 Older women are taboo; taboos are attractive
It's a cultural taboo for a younger man to date a mature woman. It's usually the other way around: an older male with a younger female.

Much like the forbidden fruit, older women are theoretically off-limits for younger guys. While it may be uncommon for a 21 year-old man to date a 31 year-old woman, it's certainly not illegal. People would probably view the interaction as a novelty. It is life though and it is going on all around us. I was approached by a handsome younger man who came right at me and told me that he prefers older women because we are more mature and less fuss. He is actually turned on by women my age. I am 48, he is a very mature 34. I suck at guessing a mans age so naturally I thought he was older....Flattered by this, sure I am.

So ladies...if you think hitting 40 or 50 has turned you into an old maid, think again...you're not too old to get hot and sassy with some Simply Delicious Lingerie and go after what you want, or to allow the chase to begin. Some young men prefer older woman, and I say that there is nothing wrong with that and everything right! It's nice at our age to be known as the "forbidden fruit" isn't it? Taboo? Nah, I just think that the men that are younger that go after women in my age group who still take care of themselves and look well, are ranking high in the friends talk...everyone wants to know how that match came about?

In theory, it's no ones business. Honestly, Imagine being at the bar a younger man with his friends where  many younger women are approaching him and he turns to the beautiful sassy older woman in the crowd? Not only has this just made every mans jaw hit the floor in the room, but he feels like a million bucks and you are honored for the opportunity to get to know this young man who went out of his way to get noticed by you. I'll say it again, the LBD works wonders. Ladies, guys like simple and sexy at whatever again...lose the layers of make up and go more natural...you will look more appealing than you ever imagined without even having tried to.

Much like the forbidden fruit, older women are theoretically off-limits for younger guys. While it may be uncommon for a 21 year-old man to date a 31 year-old woman, it's certainly not illegal. People would probably view the interaction as a novelty.

Mature women make men feel more comfortable.Young women have less experience with men and tend to be less stable in general than older women. Men like women who make them feel comfortable, emotionally. We are less work...that's what I'm trying to say I think....? Also, as far as sexual maturity goes, women tend to peak in their late twenties, while men peak around age 18. Hey, some women such as myself are still peaking...nothing wrong with that.

Very often, young women may have hundreds of men chasing after them; this makes a young man feel the pressures of competition from other males.Older women offer an alternative. It's nice to feel attractive; in the eyes of a mature woman, a young man may be a very attractive object.

Women chase younger men just the same...Perhaps there is something to be said about the chase? There is a class of women known colloquially as "cougars", these women are typically professional, attractive, and earn middle-class incomes without the help of a man.  These are the women who are determined to live a happy life with or without a man because they are well-balanced and happy with who they are. Personally I think that us older women have the edge on dating, and having a younger spouse. I think that age is just a number. It depends truly on one's integrity as well as their maturity level.Look out all you younger women who think that us older gals are heading down the road to loneliness, news flash! There is a cougar crossing...so get out of our way!