Relationships...Do Women Need a Man's Approval?

Are you contemplating a new relationship with someone that likes you but wants to change your ways because he thinks you would then be the 'icing on the cake' so to speak? We all like it sweet, but as an old friend once said "Sugar, You don’t need a man’s approval, you are in a league all of your own!" Somewhere along the line, a rumor was started that women became known as let’s just say; “the weaker sex”…said no one ever. Ok I’ll bite…

So why don’t you tell that to Annie Oakley, Betsy Ross, Beyonce, Cleopatra,  Ellen DeGeneres, Joan of Arc, Madonna, Rosa Parks or Susan B. Anthony? These women, and so many others that I have not made mention of, all strong willed have endured their own fair share of life, nonetheless, they are symbols of strength amongst women today. Obviously those women, an army of warriors and my guess is ALL of your friends would fiercely disagree right? We are not the weaker sex, and I am sure that I could get women around the globe to back me on this one. We don't need someones approval. You should seek out a man who can and will, or does accept you for the woman that you are. Some of us do, and many of us don't. 

So why are you surrendering yourself to get the approval of some guy? Women have radar and we generally use it all the time…I do, and it’s usually always right and has never let me down before…well, maybe once. The thing is gals that if you meet a good man and want to be with him, you should not need his approval for anything. He should like/love you for who you are with all of your pro’s, con’s, faults, and no faults highs and lows. You’re falling for an idea that psychologists call the “approval trap.” If you seek his approval, there is no turning back my friend. Before you start to defend yourself, yes, it’s great when you get affirmation from friends and co-workers for what you do. What do your friends think about this? Your true friends will try to make you understand why you should not compromise your happiness to appease him. Wake up girlfriend...can you not see the forest through the trees?

The problem is when you depend on their approval for who you are you lose touch with your independence and what makes you so special. Am I making any sense here? Do you see the difference? Handing over your self-esteem to anyone is a dangerous and usually a really damaging choice that should not be taken lightly. The person whose approval you believe that you must have can respond honestly or dishonestly. Are you willing to risk all of who you are for someone that easily? As another friend once said "Did you fall off the turnip truck and smack that nugget too hard on the pavement?" Since when do you need someone’s approval?

He could choose to be an encourager to you or he might verbally take you down to his level. Changing who you are to gain his approval is so wrong on so many levels. The price is simply too high.To attract a man who is secure in himself and ready to be an equal partner in a relationship, you have to be that kind of person. Are you that kind of woman? Are you emotionally stable, secure with who you are and happy with yourself? If the answer is no, girlfriend you need to take a good lookie deep within and ask yourself why? Once you determine what is causing you these issue you can address them and work on fixing them. You'll be on the highway to becoming a better you. You truly can become a better YOU! My grandmother used to always tell me that if you don’t like something …change it! Like minds attract you know? If you’re an insecure and a clingy woman (which oh geez I hope you are not) who has no idea who she is, or what her goals or aspirations are in life, then why do you think you’ll attract a man who is the opposite?

The type of man that you don’t want is counting on you to play the old role of doing whatever it takes to snag him. There are a lot of fish in the sea, so do not think for a minute that you have to latch onto the first one that comes along and grabs your bait. 

Are you making changes with yourself because it is what ‘you desire’ or what you know he likes? Do you change your wardrobe from business classic to low cut and glamorous because that’s what he likes? You begin doing things his way and for him, and you lose sight slowly of you. In no time, you make excuses to ditch your friends because he wants to “be alone” or “expand your circle.” Do you seriously think that the only way to snatch this guy is to give up your life and your identity to be his personal toy. Bad deal for you, great deal for him. Want my personal NON-PROFESSIONAL advise? DON’T DO IT! Don’t lose who you are. Don’t lose your ethics and values for some schmuck that thinks he can change you. Be happy with the way you are and you will find a man who will love you for all of those qualities that make you so unique.

History does have a way of repeating itself. It also shows men as pursing the hidden treasure. When motivated that the prize is worth the effort, men go to any lengths to win and get what they want. What if that treasure is you? Are you willing to make sacrifices to better suite his needs? Are you willing to lose your identity for him? Are you crazy? Any man that tries to change so many things about you that make you YOU is not the man you want to be with,…not now, not ever. Think long and hard before jumping into this frying pan ladies, the fire may be too hot and you will surely get burned!

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Your Happiness and Success...

What does being happy and being successful really mean to you? Being happy is wonderful and it is an experience that everyone should feel at one time or another. Success is great but if you cannot share it with anyone, is it really that great? If you were to ask me which I would prefer it would be a tie, you see because I want both. Happiness is a terrific feeling whether it be in family life, relationships, dating, work, etc. Success is something that takes a long time to achieve and it only seems fair that you would want that someone special to be near you when you were experiencing this. Do you have someone that you can talk to about almost anything, good or bad and know that they won't judge you, but that they will listen and respond accordingly? Happiness and success are two concepts intertwined with one another. These are two of the most important ingredients that will eventually define a person’s life. How do you want your life to be defined?

If you think about it, happiness and success are two things that are relative to a person’s point of view since these are dependent on one’s ideologies. Happiness and success relate to a target or reference point. Some people think if you are happy, you are blind to reality. Aren't we all at some point? But when we research it, happiness actually raises every single business and educational outcome for the brain. How did we miss this? Why do we have these societal misconceptions about happiness? Because we assumed you were average. Listen, don't beat yourself up...happiness is what you make of it just as success is as well. 

So... what does it mean to be successful?

A simple question but this definition can have various notations it’s all depends on individual fate and values. Nevertheless, regardless of one’s values or fate we all need money to achieve our goals.
The only thing there, is how much of it is necessary to satisfy one’s interest. If we actually think that to be successful imply that we must want money as much as we want to breathe than we might as well drown because if that’s the value we go by, than the more we have the more we are going to want. Material possessions don't buy love and they really don't keep you warm at night, do they?
Sure, we all like having really nice things but I would give it all up in a heart beat for my own true happiness. Oh, wait a minute, I did.

The truth of the matter is that the meaning of success deviates depending on the individual. However, what it means to be successful to one person may not be for the other. And for that we say success is relative to one’s goals. Whereas success for one person may be the accomplishment of a successful book which will bring him/her some income - for the next person that may not be enough. In this case the author gives more value to the knowledge that he/she has shared with the world as oppose to the money, while some may see no success in that.

Success can be as meaningful as the victory over a deadly disease, let say cancer or a severe case of diabetes. Success can also be defined as someone who has the ability to maintain his/her protocol without having to be rich as long as they’re happy. There are people in this world who are filthy rich and yet are not happy.

How do you measure success? Those who said that money is success couldn’t have been so wrong. Money is the advantage point of success; it is what one does with it that will determine how successful one is. People do not remember us because of how much money we have, but instead because of how we have influenced their lives. Lets take for example; Beyonce. She is not successful because of how much money she own. She is successful because her songs have touched the lives of many others. That makes for success and happiness. She just so happened to have a talent that attracts a lot of money, but had her talent not drawn that much money she still would have been successful for the lives that she has touched. Some people get so wrapped up in the material crap that they can't see the forest through the trees. It's a shame too. They just don't get it.

When we study people, scientists are often interested in what the average is. If we study what is merely average, we will remain merely average. Many people think happiness is genetic. That's only half the story, because the average person does not fight their genes. When we stop studying the average and begin researching positive outliers -- people who are above average for a positive dimension like optimism or intelligence -- a wildly different picture emerges. Our daily decisions and habits have a huge impact upon both our levels of happiness and success.

 Happiness may breed success. A person may say that he is happy because he just finished his studies or he just met a fine woman. A person may say he is successful because he was just promoted to a higher position. When one talks about happiness and success, a certain goal or perhaps an achievement is always the reference point. A person will constantly ask himself if he is happy or if he can consider himself successful. Many people become depressed because they cannot seem to make sense of all the things that are happening in their lives. The most important thing to remember, when evaluating your happiness and success, is that you need to limit your assessment using your own personal standards. Often times, depression comes about because people rely so much on the expectations of others. Oftentimes, the workplace becomes a battleground wherein people live their lives according to the expectations of other people. Then, on the flip side, there are some people who want you to fail. It is because of this type that makes me push myself even harder to succeed. People that wish you unhappiness, in so many words, or thought, are not your friends.

Again, happiness and success depend on your own views. What I think happiness is may not at all be what you envision it to be.It really depends on one’s ideologies.The only thing that we can infer from these two concepts is that these are mutually intertwined. One can say that success brings happiness and happiness is an essential ingredient towards success (i.e. Being happy with one’s work will bring beautiful fruits of labor). Yes, this is true. Some are happy to see us fail. No one fails if they try, so remember that next time someone laughs at you for a great idea that you have and remember that you had the balls to at least give it a try. Enough said?

Happiness and success are two things that all people aspire for in life. There can never be a single definition for both of these concepts. Even dictionaries wouldn’t dare give exact definitions for these words. I dunno...Perhaps, only the human heart can define these concepts. You will know when you are happy or when you can call yourself successful if your heart says so. What is your heart telling you?

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